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lindex

Member Since 2003

Followers 25 Following 18

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Thursday Jan 15, 2004

Jan 15, 2004
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I want to be an old man with a porch and grandkids, though I know that having grandkids means at some point I'm going to have to get married to someone who will do more than just talk to me wink; This is highly un-likely, because noone likes me (puts on think black non-perscription glasses).
I just want a remote control for my life, so I can fast forward, rewind and pause, It would be so much easier then. Bullshit ! I call it on most of things that happen around me, to me, and to those I concern my self with. Doing the correct thing in order to appease the mystical sense of socialital duty is far from difficult, its just boring; and if you have a distinct hate for being bored, then you are most likely in the same boat as me; dedicated to what you do, and hating every minute of it.
So my earlier journal entry was referring to my kissing a good friend of mine. The problem is that I have had and do have pretty serious fellings for this person; however, I am still a good friend, but to not stray to far from the point and go on a rant about my bi-polar attitute on relationships(errm). Anyways, yeah, so I kissed her and in a way that would say if it where a word "That I would really like this to be more", this not a good thing because I tend to feel better about things when I am honest about my emotions and very strait forward on how I will counter react to someones reactions to my honesty.
I'm in high school again, someone shoot me...
So I am going to go to a show tonight, take lots of pictures and maybe say and do more stupid things.
Far to often I lie awake at night and play back in my head to movies of my mistakes, I wish I didn't care, or better yet I wish I was confident enough to not be bothered.
miloryan:
I hate when your laying there thinking about some old memory and you get to a point that you wish you didn't do something and you physically jerk yourself to stop the picture rolling in your head. Then I sit there going "fuck, I wish I could take that one back or have done it different".
By the way, you're not going to get closer to being on the porch with grandkids running around by offering to bump peters with whatiwas! wink
Jan 15, 2004
whatiwas:
actually, Milo, I'm a hermaphrodite.
Jan 16, 2004

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