Ive found myself thinking a lot this week about kissing. The way it can change a situation. The way it can be so much more intimate than sex, and occasionally more dangerous.
I was trying to remember my very first kiss...
I know all the details, where and why, but it was with someone I didnt know very well and didnt care about purely because he chose to kiss me. I was passive. An my memory is foggy on all the details, as if they just weren't worth holding onto.
And yet...
Later that same year I was kissed by a boy who made my heart race. I remember the smell of coffee clinging in our hair and to our clothes (we worked in a coffee shop). I remember the heat of his body near mine. I remember the shape of his lips. Every detail is crisp.
I have done a lot of the first kind of kissing lately, or worse. It is empty and only ever memorable for the wrong reasons.
I think it is time for a change, to give myself to people that make my heart and memory race.
I think being sick and alone much of this past week has done odd things to my thinking and I should really stop sharing with the world :P
