Tuesday Sep 16, 2003

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I talked to this girl today, that i used to know but i don't think i really know her anymore. her brain is ruined from shooting speed, she used to have such a lovely brain. She used to be something really special to me, and now when i look at her its like she's the fuckin poster child for wasted youth and it makes my stomach hurt. She gained all this weight cause her liver got swollen from having hepatitus c, but it's not fat on her it's all just poison fluid that blew her up, She looked at me today and her face got all fucked up from picking at it, she used to be really beautiful and she was like "I guess we didn't really know how fucked up it could get when we first stuck those needles in our arms eh?"
yeah, i know girly.
she's so dead to me.
We used to live in foster group homes together, she used to be like my sister.
R.I.P you fuckin braindead speedaddict lovely queenuniverse exsister
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crookshark:
when my friend od'd from shooting coke, all this white foam came out of her lips and she was seizuring and staring straight ahead, right through my screaming face. i tried to carry her outside so she would wake up from fresh air but she shook right out of my arms and fell on the floor. and then while i lay over her screaming 'don't die, don't die you bitch don't you fucking die' she suddenly sat straight up and i saw death/demon in her face and her eyes and her body and he started punching me through her in the face and then he just left and she was her again except she didn't know her name for a while. i had flashbacks of that demon for months after that, i would wake up screaming. he was so mad at me for not letting him take her away. fucking stupid demon. i win, you dumb fuck.

do you like the kills? theres a girl in the kills that has a voice. you have to see it live to know. but it's real.

[Edited on Sep 16, 2003]

[Edited on Sep 16, 2003]
crookshark:
have you ever read 'runaway: diary of a street kid' by evelyn lau? it's good. also, 'please kill me' by legs mcneal. good too.

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