lilmisspants

so let me walk you through this. i met this fine gentleman named peyton and we had this brand new kind of sex called cyber sex and it went a little something like this........

Peyton: Hey there sexy
Amanda: hey there....you horny?
Peyton: yeah, u?
Amanda: no.
Peyton: so what are you willing to do sexually?
Amanda: i'm up for anything
Peyton: u shaved?
Amanda: never
Peyton: legs
Amanda: of course
Peyton: underarms?
Amanda: only when deodorant starts to cake in the hair. do u shave?
Peyton: no
Amanda: so you're like an animal. i love bestiallity.
Peyton: cool, u ever done cyber?
Amanda: no, i like real life. u wanna meet up? where do u live?
Peyton: Tennessee, u?
Amanda: VA. i figure california is good for both of us.
Peyton: cyber?
Amanda: i prefer fax sex or u.s. mail sex.
Peyton: but you said u were up for anything
Amanda: ok, lets do it. but i have to take a major grumpy real quick.
.............................
Amanda: ok, back. do u like girls that don't wipe
Peyton: no
Amanda: ok, brb....gotta wipe
.............................
Amanda: k, back. i ran out of TP so i used my sock. lets begin.
Peyton: what are you wearing?
Amanda: camo pants and a hank williams jr. tee shirt
Peyton: underwear?
Amanda: fruit of the loom, they're my brother's
Peyton: why don't you wear your own underwear?
Amanda: they're pretty much the same thing.
Peyton: so do u like it rough?
Amanda: yes, i love pain
Peyton: ok, i slap you hard in the face.
Amanda: i run and call the cops
Peyton: i catch you before you get to the phone and tie you to the bed
Amanda: about this time, my father comes home and wants to join.
Peyton: no! i'm not into men. i ask him to leave and he does. i shove an enormous dildo into your vagina.
Amanda: i'd rather have my nine iron. it's between the fish tank and fern
Petyon: i get your nine iron and stick it in as far as it will go.
Amanda: DON'T KILL MY BABY!
Peyton: you have a baby?
Amanda: not anymore. =-( the fetus falls out as you pull out the nine iron. you get your blender and make a smoothie with my body fluids and the fetus. you add lucky charms. do you think i'm weird peyton?

Peyton: no, just extremely freaky.
Amanda: in that case i want you to light my vagina on fire and stamp it out with golf shoes.

Peyton: no, i'm not doing that.
Amanda: my sister is gettin off the school bus. i want her to join.
Peyton: how old is she?
Amanda: 17, old enough
Peyton: what is she wearing?
Amanda: a helmet and a football uniform. PUNISH HER!
Peyton: i want you to take it off.
Amanda: i violently rip her clothing off. im having trouble with the jock strap. she smells of Gold Bond powder.
Peyton: i shove your face in her behind and make you eat her ass.
Amanda: it tastes like motor oil! i want you to fuck my sister.
Peyton: i fuck your sister hard as you sit back and watch.
Amanda: she moans, but not because she likes it. she has downs syndrome.
Peyton: whoa! i'm not into doing retarded girls.
Amanda: too late you already did sicko
Peyton: don't ever talk to me again.

......so anyways, i think overall this a success. i love him.