lilmissmorbid

I don't ask for much in life. Just alittle respect, love and trust. Last night as all of you know I had to work the pole. Well they were short a waitress so Tim asked me if I could stay after my dance and wait tables. I'm like sure no prob My mom had the munchkins so One call to let her know Id be late and all set. So I did my dance, made some cash, nothing half as funny as the first time. I actually was able to just do it. Anyways to the point I was making. So I am waiting the tables and a few guys send comments like "Nice show" "great tits" etc.. So Im all smiles and giddy inside. Then I get to this table that has 4 men sitting at it. All are I'm guessing between the ages of 35-65 Well One of the men when I ask to take his order goes "You have such a pretty face" Stupid me thinking hes being nice says "Thank you" and gives him a smile. He then asks me "How much do You weigh?" I'm like uh I dunno. I lied I really know but Its none of his fucking business how much fat Im packing. So then he goes. "You know my daughter was fat like you and she died of a heart attack." To which I reply "I'm sorry to hear that what would you like to drink". He then goes.. "You weigh over 400 pounds dont you?" I'm like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! No I dont weigh 400 pounds I dont weigh anything close to 400 pounds. By this time Im shaking cause I just want to chew the face off this guy right about now. My tray is shaking to the point I had to put it to my side. I glanced over at Tommy the door bouncer and hes not looking my way. So Im standing there wishing I could just kick this guy in his pindlestick and light him on fire. Anyways he goes. "You know if you just lost some weight you'd be pretty enough to dance with the other girls." Flash backs of my Father always telling me If youd just loose some weight you'd be so beautiful. And the patented Mom quote "You have really let yourself go, You have such a pretty face why dont you diet" Yeah no bullshit My parents are that lovely. Anyways as the visons enter my mind the guy is still saying something to me but at this point my eyes have clouded over and all I am picturing is my entire life being joked about, called names, and having to sit back and laugh it off. Thats what fat people do They laugh it off when someone calls them a name They say to themselves Its okay. Fuck um they are heartless bastards fuck um Im beautiful. So yeah As Im throwing my personal blocks up this guy is still saying things and the men are laughing I cant even hear what they are saying. I have been overweight my entire life. I make no excuses its due what use to be a very poor fast food ridden diet. Little extra exercise although I did play soccer in Highschool but anyways I am fat. I accept it its who I am, Not what I am.. Do I wish I were skinnier? Sometimes but not for looks for health. I dont judge people for the way they look whether it be handicaps, anorexic, crosseyed or fat. I accept them for them not the skin..Or the looks. Anyways Im getting off subject now.. So I snap back to reality and hear the bullshit spewing out of the cocksuckers mouth and I'm tearing up. A few tears roll down my cheek and he stops. He looks at me and says "Are you okay doll? I was just kidding about all that" I look at him and for the first time in my life its like my eyes are opened to what people really see when they look at me. See I have this coping mechanism that makes me think... Im not as fat as I am. When people call me fat or judge me based on looks I blow them off. I have a great circle of friends, I dont really care if anyone new enters my friendship ring. I've never had a problem getting boyfriends, lovers or a husband for that matter. But I just trick myself into thinking I'm a size 12 when Im a size 22. I do care when someone goes out of thier way to be mean. It fucks a person up. Ugh Im ranting again.. So back on the guy A few more tears drop to my cheek and I wipe them away and Pervert I guess notices that I have been there awhile so he walks by me and pushes me forward so I look around and see him. He notices I am alittle red faced (when I cry my face goes red and gets all blotchy) he stops and turns around and asks me if Im okay I asked him to get Tommy so he asks me again whats wrong. I said Just go get Tommy. So now The guys are backpedaling saying Doll, Honey, sweetheart relax I was just kidding dont get all upset. I'm numb at this point. All I want to do is just gut this fucker with a knife. Im pissed and hurt and angry. So Tommy comes over all in your face to these guys and asks me whats wrong. Tommy is about 6'4 about 350 pds hes a big motherfucker. You do not wanna fuck with him. Anyways I stepped back and pulled Tommy with me and said Hes saying shit to me. I didnt want to tell Tommy he called me fat. I wanted to keep that to myself like I had a shread of decency left. He asked me again what was said I told him he was making comments about my looks that made me upset. Tommy asked if it was the whole table or just one. I pointed out the main guy but told him the others laughed and said somethings but I wasnt listening to them. He didnt even blink he grabbed the guy who said the stuff to me and yanked him out of his chair and dragged/pushed him to the door. His buddies at the table were speechless. I was standing there speechless. Next thing I know. Tim, Charles (the Owner), Bart (another bouncer) and Kenny (one of the bartenders) Are all right in front of this table Tim grabs me by the shoulders and brings me to the back area I tell him what happens and start crying again. Meanwhile Ruth (Anna Nicole lookalike) Comes up and is hugging me and I'm all like its okay Im fine now it just surprised me someone could say things like that. Ruth then goes to share her story of a time that happened when she was ancing and it made me feel alot better to know this shit doesnt just happen to me. Anyways While I was in the back those guys got thrown out and the one that said the shit to me according to Pervert Got the piss beat out of him in the parking lot. Yay Tommy!!!! So he got his I just wish I was the one fucking his face up.