I'm a jerk.
I really am. Sometimes I can be so cold-hearted and distant and completely unreceptive to romantic gestures. It's not that I'm oblivious... I am totally aware that he's trying and being very sweet and saying perfect things and I feel... nothing.
Phone sex isn't working anymore. I rarely have any kind of libido which I know leaves him frustrated... and when I do get horny, he is left unsatisfied because I cum too fast the first time and don't want to hear dirty talk... which leaves him feeling unappreciated and distant... rightfully so. We're hardly going to talk anymore for a while, which I'm actually happy about because I have a month left of school and I have been doing really poorly, so having hours after work and not having anybody to talk to will be a relief. I can hopefully finish with a bang. Hopefully.
The distance kills me. I feel like I need to spend some time with him... actually in person, to remind myself that I am in love with him.. but it's been less than a month since I was up there. grrrrrr. and then I have doubts.... why do I have doubts after we make huge plans?? We're fucking getting married in January.
I feel sick of life... maybe it's just a huge accumulation of stress that is turning me into a huge bitch towards the two people that matter the most (myself and my fiance). I can't wait until it's all over... school I mean. I need some vacation/travel time.
And I'm fat... I need to lose like 20 lbs. need to get off my ass and go running... ugh.
P.S. cia's new set was really nice... i like the setting a lot
I really am. Sometimes I can be so cold-hearted and distant and completely unreceptive to romantic gestures. It's not that I'm oblivious... I am totally aware that he's trying and being very sweet and saying perfect things and I feel... nothing.
Phone sex isn't working anymore. I rarely have any kind of libido which I know leaves him frustrated... and when I do get horny, he is left unsatisfied because I cum too fast the first time and don't want to hear dirty talk... which leaves him feeling unappreciated and distant... rightfully so. We're hardly going to talk anymore for a while, which I'm actually happy about because I have a month left of school and I have been doing really poorly, so having hours after work and not having anybody to talk to will be a relief. I can hopefully finish with a bang. Hopefully.
The distance kills me. I feel like I need to spend some time with him... actually in person, to remind myself that I am in love with him.. but it's been less than a month since I was up there. grrrrrr. and then I have doubts.... why do I have doubts after we make huge plans?? We're fucking getting married in January.
I feel sick of life... maybe it's just a huge accumulation of stress that is turning me into a huge bitch towards the two people that matter the most (myself and my fiance). I can't wait until it's all over... school I mean. I need some vacation/travel time.
And I'm fat... I need to lose like 20 lbs. need to get off my ass and go running... ugh.
P.S. cia's new set was really nice... i like the setting a lot
hope you do better at school hun, have a great weekend
What ever you do will take courage, but you know that the stress has just begun.
The funniest thing about my pics is that I had no idea that for the past couple of months, people that posted on my blog had just got an eyefull.