So, here are several for your viewing pleasure. Click Spoiler below to see photos.
Now that you've had your photo fix- I'm on to blathering about myself and my day again. Feel free to skip this part if it bores you. Or read on if you want a little laugh, a little sigh, and a little nap (from my extreme boring).
Stream of Consciousness
It was one of those moments, in the dark, when your mind is fuddled and your thoughts are racing. You step, headlong, sprinting into a quick jog, headed for- The Bathroom. Let's face it, when you have to pee, you have to pee.
Throwing open the door, I didn't bother with such trivial things like the light. I pushed down my shorts and my Grumpy Bear underwear and squatted. Cold hard plastic met my neither regions shocking me just in time to stop the stream before it began. Someone had put the lid down on the toilet.
I leaped from my seat, squeezing my muscles with all my might and threw the lid back just in time to catch the erupting yellow stream.
Whew! That could have been a disaster! I was saved by the power of the keagles. All hail a strong Vagina!
Earlier that very day.....
A tree limb exploded apart on the huge tree in my front yard and crashed to the ground, sorta. It broke close to the trunk, some it caught, and now it is hanging precariously from the tree and sweeping the ground. If it would just fall the rest of the way down, I could chainsaw the thing to death, but no. No such luck for me. Now we have to get a tree expert to come and get it down.
Earlier that day....
I dawned my pink and black running shoes, grabbed my shovel, and prepared for WAR. Stuffing two sticks of bubble gum in my mouth, shooting back a this dark shot of Pepsi, I set out to brave the awesome foe. An Armadillo has invaded my flower bed. In the front of my house, by the corner, the little bastard has dug a trench under the foundation of my house.
With a determined grin and quick eyes I set about filling the hole in with dirt. It was tough, but it had to be done. Don't worry, I watched out for the little leprosy carrying bastard and I made it out unscathed (as I imagine the armadillo did as well since it wasn't in the hole at the time of the filling).
Earlier that day....
I watched a lot of nip tuck and I think I'm ready to try and perform rhinoplasty on my Barbie Dolls.
Upcoming Shows
This Saturday at Revolution Nightclub in Orlando. Show at 11.
The 29th at TRU Lounge in Clearwater FL.
The 6th at Cold Keg Nightclub in Melbourne FL.
Want me to perform at your club, bring the girls and have a raging good time? You can book me or my whole show by emailing me at lillithvain@yahoo.com
Everybody take care now!
Where was the "boring" part?
Take care, hope the little digger stays away from your home!