For context, I am a fine art/emotive portrait photographer. I mostly take photos with an ethereal aesthetic of women either nude or in beautiful gowns, almost fairytale like but usually with a darker concept within it. I'm going to be shooting a SG set with @coolicio in the coming month, which I am very excited about as it will be a fun style to shoot, and of course to play around and model myself.
Now, the point of this blog post... For a while I have been quite out of it with my art, not quite connecting properly, harder to find inspiration and motivation to go along with it. I believe this had a lot to do with the fact that I moved to Melbourne early last year only to find myself back home by the end of it due to relapse and just... adult life caving in on me I guess.
I am slowly starting to find my motivation again, my "spoons" to create and it is feeling good, but it is so hard to stop yourself from throwing things away or giving up on projects just because they aren't 'perfect.' I really struggle with this, especially since I have slowed down creating for a while, when you go back again of course things aren't going to be as smooth as they used to be when I was shooting and editing every single day, and I tell myself to accept it, but actually doing so is the hard part.
I am someone who will only want to put something into the world if I think it is perfect, and if it isn't, I get very anxious and frustrated with myself and start to doubt my abilities. Which is, silly, and I know that, yet it happens every single time something doesn't go quite right.
I need to start focusing on just shooting again, getting things out there for the sake of it, even if they're not up to my standard of perfect. It's just, difficult. Art is hard, but I can't give up, and I won't. Does anyone have any advice for finding motivation when you just don't want to do anything... even showering is too hard? I would appreciate any advice on living as an artist and conquering self-doubt, it would mean a lot to me <3
Lillith
x
