lilitu23

Last night I went to the club where I supposedly had my name on the guest list to see Sunn O))) and came to find that my name was not on the list. Yeah, that's right, I won these tickets on the radio and the DJ at KPFA took my name down over the phone, but whoever at the station had the responsibility of taking the names of the ticket winners and calling the club to make sure those names were on the list at the door for free entry apparently dropped the ball. Apart from the inconvenience of me taking the bus down to the club and having to turn around and go back home, the really embarrassing part was I had invited this guy I met on Craigslist to see the show for free, thinking my name would be on the list 'plus one', and he drove all the way up to SF from Sunnyvale, and I had to apologize to him for someone else's oversight (neither one of us was in the position to actually pay the $18 door charge to see the show. I'm a-gonna talk to that DJ tonight when he is on the radio and tell him what happened and he will most likely give me some comp tickets to another show to make up for the inconvenience and disappointment I was put through.

But I ended up walking most of the way home, rather than wait for buses, and I walked past my old house on 820 Fell St where I lived over fourteen years ago with my friends Tim and Susan (and Lisa Rae for a while), when we first moved up to SF in February 1990 (until I moved out in May 1995). I stood on the sidewalk out in front of the three-story Victorian, looking up at the first-floor picture window facing the street. That used to be Susan's study, and sometimes a communal living room where we watched TV that whole year that Twin Peaks first came on the air. And it was in that window that our cats Hassan and Peeve used to sit, watching out on the busy street, when we all lived there, Hassan who moved out with me when I found my own apartment in Noe Valley where I live to this day, and Peeve who moved in with Hassan and me when Tim and Susan moved to Maui. My old friends. My kitties. My friends have moved on. My kitties have died. I stood there and looked up at that window, wondering who lives there now, and feeling sad about the times and the friends who have gone. I wonder if, ten years from now, I might find myself standing on some street, reminiscing about the good old days of the summer of 2009, when I lived on my own with all the blessings I have now. You don't miss your water till your well runs dry...

Sunday. I've got the day to myself, nothing planned until the SF Sound concert tonight. I could do something productive, or take a trip up to Marin for a hike. Hmmm, I don't know. A number of things I could or should do. Like get to work on recording some music. Revise my resume. Go out busking. Go volunteer with the cats at the pound. I'm going to have to think about this. Having all the free time I do, it ought to be treated as a blessing. And yet, often, I just feel like I'd rather draw the shades and go lie down in the dark, take a nap, do nothing.

This is my life...