Slept okay last night but woke up at 4:00 am and didn't get back to sleep for at least a couple hours.
Yesterday I went to therapy and he signed the papers for me to get extended for my authorization to use a disabled transit pass for another year (saves me a lot of money per month riding Muni). Decided against going to Death Guild because I just felt too shitty to get dressed up and deal with nightclub energy/atmosphere. Went out to the free music at Make-Out Room instead but they were late getting started and I didn't feel like hanging around not drinking, so I came back home and went to bed early. I haven't been mentioning my dreams in this blog for the past few days, but last night I had a recurring dream where I go back east to visit my mom or my dad, and I keep forgetting to book the return flight with the airline, or I have to keep postponing it or something, and I feel anxious about when and how I am going to get away from my parents and get back home to San Francisco.
Today the plan is to go to the transit office to submit the papers for the disabled pass renewal, then go to the support group at Trans:Thrive, and then I have a doctor's appointment at the trans clinic at 7:40 and am going to take BART afterwards over to Berkeley to the pipe ceremony. I need to pray.
Last Saturday I deactivated my Facebook account, because I wanted to erase myself (temporarily) from the network there and make myself unavailable. It's amazing how much that has cut back on time-wasting crap and emails stuffing up my inbox, just from not posting comments or status updates or getting invites to things I don't want or can't afford to go to. Et cetera...
I don't feel like writing anything else here. My self-esteem went down the storm drain with that rat I killed Sunday night. I just hate myself.
Yesterday I went to therapy and he signed the papers for me to get extended for my authorization to use a disabled transit pass for another year (saves me a lot of money per month riding Muni). Decided against going to Death Guild because I just felt too shitty to get dressed up and deal with nightclub energy/atmosphere. Went out to the free music at Make-Out Room instead but they were late getting started and I didn't feel like hanging around not drinking, so I came back home and went to bed early. I haven't been mentioning my dreams in this blog for the past few days, but last night I had a recurring dream where I go back east to visit my mom or my dad, and I keep forgetting to book the return flight with the airline, or I have to keep postponing it or something, and I feel anxious about when and how I am going to get away from my parents and get back home to San Francisco.
Today the plan is to go to the transit office to submit the papers for the disabled pass renewal, then go to the support group at Trans:Thrive, and then I have a doctor's appointment at the trans clinic at 7:40 and am going to take BART afterwards over to Berkeley to the pipe ceremony. I need to pray.
Last Saturday I deactivated my Facebook account, because I wanted to erase myself (temporarily) from the network there and make myself unavailable. It's amazing how much that has cut back on time-wasting crap and emails stuffing up my inbox, just from not posting comments or status updates or getting invites to things I don't want or can't afford to go to. Et cetera...
I don't feel like writing anything else here. My self-esteem went down the storm drain with that rat I killed Sunday night. I just hate myself.
Sounds like you're also planning your time, scheduling things to do and keeping those schedules; whether it's excruciatingly mundane necessities or you have the luxury of planning entertainment, you seem to be keeping yourself moving if not truly "busy." Good on ya!
I look forward to seeing your upcoming posts here -- and who knows, maybe I'll finally get off my lazy duff and post about my life?