Well, yesterday I had an okay day, I guess. Practiced some on my horns and felt okay mood-wise.
I went to the 'transgender MTF support group' at the Tom Waddell clinic last night at six pm, to give it another chance. I'm sorry, but sitting in a meeting room with a dozen tranny girls watching a DVD of some TV show (the one last night was a Dutch TV drama on a transgendered person, or something, better than the sitcoms they have shown in the past) is not my idea of support. I am never going to that group again. They do have some free dinner (mostly institutional cafeteria food, with meat) but I'm not that hungry, either.
So I left there early and took BART over to Berkeley for the Tuesday night chanun'pa circle. This is a tobacco pipe ceremony done in the Lakota tradition inside a dome/teepee in the backyard of some very wonderful people there in a residential neighborhood near Ashby. Usually there are between a dozen and twenty men and women that come and take part. We all sit in a circle and speak aloud our prayers (what is troubling us, what we are thankful for, what we are asking for, etc), and then we each take a puff from the sacred pipe of tobacco. The people who lead and attend this circle are very warm, kind, conscientious folks. I've been going to this group pretty regularly for about three months. Last night I felt very calm and rested and present and attentive, more so than usual, maybe due to the fact I was more rested (or maybe the estrogen had a calming effect?) Typically, it takes two to three hours for everyone to speak aloud their prayers, and I get restless and my mind wanders. But last night I was quite focused the whole time, and unusually patient. I am debating with myself whether or not to attend one of the medicine ceremonies with this group. There is one coming up on August 1. I am not sure I have the stamina to do an all-night medicine ceremony, and I would not be able to pay the requested donation of $150. So I probably won't do it.
This morning. Blah. I feel like going back to bed. Last night I was up till about one am. I slept till 9:30 am, so it's not like I should be feeling sleep-deprived. But I just feel like hiding under the covers for another couple hours, rather than getting to work on my music. I am so dreading the task of working out my live concert set. Sigh... I don't know what I will do.
I have a real TG support group to go to this afternoon, and then some shopping, and maybe visit my ex-girlfriend Nadja who lives over there by Rainbow Grocery where I'm going to buy vitamins.
Oh, the other thing. I started reading Invisible Monsters yesterday, and came across the paragraph about how inhumanely horses are treated in the factory production of Premarin. I confirmed the information on the internet this morning. I am definitely going to want to switch from Premarin to one of the synthetic forms of estrogen next time I see my doctor (which won't be for another five weeks, so I will continue with the evil Premarin in the meantime)...
I went to the 'transgender MTF support group' at the Tom Waddell clinic last night at six pm, to give it another chance. I'm sorry, but sitting in a meeting room with a dozen tranny girls watching a DVD of some TV show (the one last night was a Dutch TV drama on a transgendered person, or something, better than the sitcoms they have shown in the past) is not my idea of support. I am never going to that group again. They do have some free dinner (mostly institutional cafeteria food, with meat) but I'm not that hungry, either.
So I left there early and took BART over to Berkeley for the Tuesday night chanun'pa circle. This is a tobacco pipe ceremony done in the Lakota tradition inside a dome/teepee in the backyard of some very wonderful people there in a residential neighborhood near Ashby. Usually there are between a dozen and twenty men and women that come and take part. We all sit in a circle and speak aloud our prayers (what is troubling us, what we are thankful for, what we are asking for, etc), and then we each take a puff from the sacred pipe of tobacco. The people who lead and attend this circle are very warm, kind, conscientious folks. I've been going to this group pretty regularly for about three months. Last night I felt very calm and rested and present and attentive, more so than usual, maybe due to the fact I was more rested (or maybe the estrogen had a calming effect?) Typically, it takes two to three hours for everyone to speak aloud their prayers, and I get restless and my mind wanders. But last night I was quite focused the whole time, and unusually patient. I am debating with myself whether or not to attend one of the medicine ceremonies with this group. There is one coming up on August 1. I am not sure I have the stamina to do an all-night medicine ceremony, and I would not be able to pay the requested donation of $150. So I probably won't do it.
This morning. Blah. I feel like going back to bed. Last night I was up till about one am. I slept till 9:30 am, so it's not like I should be feeling sleep-deprived. But I just feel like hiding under the covers for another couple hours, rather than getting to work on my music. I am so dreading the task of working out my live concert set. Sigh... I don't know what I will do.
I have a real TG support group to go to this afternoon, and then some shopping, and maybe visit my ex-girlfriend Nadja who lives over there by Rainbow Grocery where I'm going to buy vitamins.
Oh, the other thing. I started reading Invisible Monsters yesterday, and came across the paragraph about how inhumanely horses are treated in the factory production of Premarin. I confirmed the information on the internet this morning. I am definitely going to want to switch from Premarin to one of the synthetic forms of estrogen next time I see my doctor (which won't be for another five weeks, so I will continue with the evil Premarin in the meantime)...