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lilitu23

San Francisco

Member Since 2009

Followers 117 Following 134

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Monday Jul 06, 2009

Jul 6, 2009
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So this week I am going back on the corporate pharmaceutical medication finally, for the first time since stopping Prozac at the end of 2007. I took 20mg of Cymbalta this morning and will take it for another five days to see how it feels. Then I plan to stop the Cymbalta and start the female hormones, assuming the doctor will write me a prescription for those tomorrow when I see her. I will want to see how the hormones affect my mood without being under the influence of any other drug, so that's why I will stop the Cymbalta. Then once I have stabilized on the hormones (assuming I like how they feel and want to continue taking them), I can decide if I need to add the antidepressant or not.

Right now I am feeling dismayed, anguished and annoyed. Yesterday I spent several hours painting my nails, which is ridiculous I know but I have such a hard time with this task, I mess up, have to keep touching up, applying multiple coats, etc, and waiting for them to dry in between coats. Today I decided I don't like the bright red color, so I am painting over them in black. But I have made a mess with the toenails and keep having to fix them. Then the fingernails. I can see another entire afternoon being sucked up in this silly process.

If I wasn't so goddamned fucking poor I would go to one of the half-dozen nail salons in my neighborhood and pay someone to do my nails. But I have no money. So I will spend hours and deal with the frustration of contending with my own ineptitude instead...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pirateaffterall:
I refuse to pay someone to do my nails. It's a waste of money. You'll get better at it sooner or later. It will never be perfect, mine aren't. I get paint on the skin here and there but by the end of the day it's worn off from washing my hands or taking a shower, etc. If I need them to look good right away, then when I get paint on the skin I dip a QTip in nailpolish remover and just wipe the paint off my finger. QTips are small enough to get off what you need without messing it all up.
Jul 6, 2009
lilitu23:
Yep, I must have went through about three dozen Q-tips today!

I actually had a free manicure and polish job a few weeks ago when the students from a local cosmetology school came to give free makeovers to the MTFs during a transgender week here in the city. I wish I could afford to make a habit of it! But at least I learned how it's supposed to be done, and now it's just a matter of practicing it on my own.

One thing I absolutely cannot do on my own is apply false eyelashes. Fortunately that isn't something I feel compelled to wear every day at least...
Jul 6, 2009

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