lil_louie

Ok, here's another post with me bitching and moaning.
Things haven't gotten any better since my last post as far as the girlfriend/fiance thing goes.
I haven't seen her in 2 months, and because of her new job, I have no idea when I'm going to get to see her again. We see each other on weekends (once a month), but now she's got a job that requires her to work Saturdays and Sundays from 8am until 8pm. She won't ask for a weekend off because she doesn't want it to seem that she wants out of the job, and she's already got a week and a half off in August to go to our Temple's annual Retreat. So I don't know when I'm going to get to see her next.
She is also a bit pissed off that I hang out with a female friend (whom I've known for 14 years) every weekend. I can't help it that someone wants to spend time with me.
Our phone conversations are shit now too. They consist almost entirely of us making stupid noises at each other, us talking about work, her talking about World of Warcraft (which I have absolutely no interest in), me talking about comic books or teh Transformers movie (which she has absolutely no interest in) and silence. Sounds like the perfect relationship, right? Yes folks, that last sentence was indeed sarcasm.
Now, (while she hasn't exactly said it) she thinks I'm cheating on her. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't thought about it, because I have. I haven't, however, cheated (even though she has). The closest I've gotten to cheating on her in the 4 years we've been together was my lap dance from Jenna Haze in March. And I'm not going to lie about this either, if I had a snowballs chance in hell of banging Miss Jenna Haze, I sure as shit would have. Would I have felt guilty about it? Goddamn right I would have. Would I have felt guilty about not doing it if I had the chance? Goddamn right I would. There are lengths I'm willing to go (that I won't mention here) in order to bang Jenna, that I never would have imagined I would even consider!
I'm in a lose, lose situation. I haven't had any sort of affection in 2 months, and those were only a couple kisses last time we saw each other. As far as sex goes, I haven't had any in 3 months, and who the fuck knows when the next time I'll get any is going to be. This all makes me feel like she has no interest in or attraction to me whatsoever. How can I possibly feel any other way?
I was told by a dear friend of mine (one of the only 2 people who are likely to read this) that I need to sit down and talk to her about everything. Normally, I would. But any time I talk to her about this shit, I end up being the bad guy because, as she says, "It seems all you're interested in is sex anymore." So I don't know what the fuck to do now. Do I stay in a relationship where neither of us is happy (she's told me on more than one occasion that nothing makes her happy), and let the resentment and bitterness grow, or do I end the relationship and chance that I'll never find someone else? I say that last part because I'm not a good looking guy. I also have no self-worth, self-esteem or self-confidence, so ever finding someone again that will respect my choice of religion, and love me for who I am, is slim to none.
So I don't know what is going to happen, and as much as I'd like to be able to say that I don't care, I do. I love her, but I don't know if love is worth all this shit anymore.