This is my first post, and probably my last, who knows.
I'm posting this here because I have no one in my family who reads this, or who even knows I have it.
Not to mention, I don't know any of the people on my friends list except one.
I'm more depressed than I've ever been, and in all honesty, I just want to end it. Life holds no joy for me anymore, I get no satisfaction, no humor, no anything out of life anymore. The only thing I'm capable of feeling right now is pain and sorrow. I've tried feeling things, I watched a movie last night that I would have enjoyed, was I not in this state of mind.
All because of a girl.
Ever since I put that ring on my girlfriends finger, everything has changed. We have almost no intimacy now, even though for the first 3 years of our relationship, she couldn't seem to keep her hands off me. And when there is any intimacy, it feels like she's forcing herself to touch me. When I try to talk about it, I get accused of only being interested in sex. Sex isn't the only thing our relationship is lacking in. We don't kiss, cuddle, or anything else aside from hold hands. Is it so wrong to want to have something physical with the person you love? Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so.
It's a long distance relationship, I live in Pennsylvania, she lives just outside of Washington, DC, and we only get to see each other once a month. However, now she wants to move to a suburb of Chicago, knowing that I don't want to move there. Somehow, she thought I'd be ok with this and would want to stay in a relationship where I only get to see her 1 or 2 times a year. She is obviously trying to get away from me, even though she says she's not. And even though she says she does, I don't think she loves me anymore. Can't really say I blame her, I'm a whiny little bitch.
I wish she's just break up with me already so I can get on with killing myself.
Though, I'm sure nobody is going to read this anyway, so I'm just complaining to no one.
I'm posting this here because I have no one in my family who reads this, or who even knows I have it.
Not to mention, I don't know any of the people on my friends list except one.
I'm more depressed than I've ever been, and in all honesty, I just want to end it. Life holds no joy for me anymore, I get no satisfaction, no humor, no anything out of life anymore. The only thing I'm capable of feeling right now is pain and sorrow. I've tried feeling things, I watched a movie last night that I would have enjoyed, was I not in this state of mind.
All because of a girl.
Ever since I put that ring on my girlfriends finger, everything has changed. We have almost no intimacy now, even though for the first 3 years of our relationship, she couldn't seem to keep her hands off me. And when there is any intimacy, it feels like she's forcing herself to touch me. When I try to talk about it, I get accused of only being interested in sex. Sex isn't the only thing our relationship is lacking in. We don't kiss, cuddle, or anything else aside from hold hands. Is it so wrong to want to have something physical with the person you love? Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so.
It's a long distance relationship, I live in Pennsylvania, she lives just outside of Washington, DC, and we only get to see each other once a month. However, now she wants to move to a suburb of Chicago, knowing that I don't want to move there. Somehow, she thought I'd be ok with this and would want to stay in a relationship where I only get to see her 1 or 2 times a year. She is obviously trying to get away from me, even though she says she's not. And even though she says she does, I don't think she loves me anymore. Can't really say I blame her, I'm a whiny little bitch.
I wish she's just break up with me already so I can get on with killing myself.
Though, I'm sure nobody is going to read this anyway, so I'm just complaining to no one.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
litaraye:
thanks hun!
kemper:
<3