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lil_em

Sunny South Coast

Member Since 2007

Followers 132 Following 112

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Thursday May 21, 2009

May 20, 2009
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Goooooooooood morning people! biggrin

Yes, life is still good for me; I am beside myself with excitement, energy and enthusiasm and it's not going away! biggrin

I really think the change in me has been my exercise regime - I say regime but that sounds harsh and quite negative whereas that is exactly the opposite of how I feel about it. I now look forward to waking up in the morning and getting stuck into my day. I know, it's a shocker huh?! tongue

So I'm doing 45 minutes of good exercise every day now and I'm absolutely loving it. I finally found 'the thing' that I really enjoy and I really feel good about myself and the fact that I'm looking after myself so well! Couple that with the Slimming World diet I'm on and well, I'm REALLY looking after myself in every way possible! I'm having fantastic physical exercise every day AND I'm eating the healthiest and yummiest foods every day. I'm also eating and enjoying rather than eating and feeling guilty, like I'm not worth trying hard for. This is the first time in my 35 years on this earth that I'm really beginning to see and feel my own worth and be happy from within and well, I wish I could express it adequately in words how happy that makes me, but I can't.

Yes, I'm still on anti-depressants so it may be that my happiness is slightly false, but I would disagree with that. I've been on anti-depressants about 90% of my adult life and I've not felt this happy before. Additionally, my meds have been decreased for about 2 months now so yeah, I'm also happy that I am genuinely happy (if that makes sense!).

I'm going to see my psychiatrist next Wednesday and I cannot wait! I haven't seen her for a couple of months and I've lost 9.5lbs since then and apparently it's really starting to notice now so I'm excited biggrin

I also can't wait to tell her my news about the fostering as I'm pretty sure she's going to be made up for me and will agree it's the right thing for me to do. I don't know but I really look forward to seeing her smile

My only problem is my business - it's pretty quiet at the moment and I'm skint as usual. I've handed in my notice at the office and will have to come in over the long weekend to get a lot of stuff out of here. The problem is my house is pretty small so it's gonna be a squish again which I hate. I also need to get in the shed and clear it out - that involves some mother-fucker-sized spiders and it creeps me out! I don't mind spiders but they're bigguns in there and it takes a lot to keep cool skull

So yeah, lots of hard work to come but all for the better so yay!

Oh and before I go, I must say hello to my besties on here, xALICEx and Lior as they're always so supportive of me every single day. We all seem to be doing pretty good lately and for that I am really happy for all of us. Good times biggrin

And for my male SG bestie Sub_Monkey, his Daddy is in hospital at the moment and he's worried sick so if you get a mo, please go say hi to him and wish him well. He's a pretty cool fella and could do with some support from random friendly people right now smile

So how are the rest of you today? Everything alright?

EDITED TO ADD: A picture of my little chickywoo doing her job of guarding my place this morning, she sits on that doorstep for hours sometimes, bless her!

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
anaphalaxis:
Hey doll! Long time eh? Ignore last blog. Having a bad life. Fuck it. Glad to see you so enthusiastic! Keep that exercise routine up- it seems to be doing the trick! I'm in a similar mode actually: off drink for a month, and forcing myself to go and do proper shopping and proper eating. I'm so crap at looking after myself it's ridiculous, but I'm actually doing a fairly good job at the moment.

Take care! x
May 22, 2009
anaphalaxis:
Haven't I told you before about calling me dude!?

Yeah, things are a bit shit but whatcha gonna do? Get on with it is the only real option as far as I'm concerned.

Considering I'm a complete atheist and have reasonably sharp opinions about organised religion and it's part in the history of civilisation I'm a surprising fan of churches. I suppose it's the Leni Riefenstahl argument: can you hate good art that was used for the wrong reasons?
May 23, 2009

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