Evening all. I hope I find you well? 
Wow, what a weekend I've had. While there's been no drunkeness or debauchery, I've got a shit load done and I'm feeling really good.
I'm starting wonder if Citalopram is amphetamine based as I seem to have had a rocket up my arse the last few days!
Yesterday I did a few things in the house and cleaned out the gerbils etc. Today I was up at 7.45am and completely gutted my bedroom and bathroom to within an inch of their lives. I even hoovered the bloody ceilings to clear away any cobwebs and washed the windows!
After that I got on and had a hot shower and then made myself look the best I possibly could and went to Stinky's mate John's house to pick up the spikes. I was a little worried that Stinky might appear but thankfully I had faith in John that he wouldn't tell him and I was right. So no drama, got the box of spikes in the back of the van and drove away, job done. Now, John lives a good few miles from my house but only a few minutes away from the crematorium so on my way back home I nipped into the garden of remembrance for a minute. This is something I've felt the need to do since the last time I went which was about a month ago (already!). The weird thing is though that once I got there today I didn't actually feel much at all, it was really odd. The last time I went there I spent about an hour there and balled my eyes out but this time, nothing. I didn't feel the need to take flowers just merely 'pop in' which is what I did. Incidentally when I got to the tree I'd picked for Pip, there were a load of flowers there for a little boy called Joshua who died in January 2004, aged only a few weeks; he'd been born in November 2003. There were lots of little toys of Postman Pat there and easter eggs etc., it was very touching and made me realise that actually, people do go through some terrible things in their lives but we all get over the initial pain and are able to smile again. I really do feel that I am turning a corner with losing Pip now. The pain is nowhere near as bad as it was even a couple of weeks ago. And I haven't cried today either I'm hoping that it's not just the drugs that are making me feel happier and that I really am starting to deal with my life but we'll see.
So after the quick visit to the crem I went and did a bit of shopping. Fucking groceries, I spent over 50 and didn't even have anything for dinner! Still, I'm pleased because I managed to find another supplier of vegetarian omega 3's which I've been trying to find for a while
Now I'm at the taxi office working tonight and its really quiet to say the least. Still, I have my laptop to keep me amused
I came into the office tonight and checked the staff folder which we all update after each shift and there is a note in there from Thursday to say an ex of mine (who I used to go out with before Stinky and who shit on me with at least 4 other girls before I found out!) has rung in to see if there are any jobs going. If he fucking comes to work here, I'm off, immediately. I actually did something really juvenile to this guy when I found out he'd been cheating with so many. I'd remembered the one time he told me his email password so I hacked into it after I dumped him and changed his friends reunited profile to declare I AM GAY!! This was probably not a good move as he's a bit of a dangerous and unpredictable fella and has already spent a few years in nick for violence (I know, I don't half pick 'em eh!
) Anyway, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since we split in 2005 - I thought as he'd recently done over the local tandoori he'd buggered off back to Bedford, but obviously he's back in town again. Thank god I've been warned already. I will be speaking to the new boss first thing tomorrow about him and getting assurances that he won't be working here anytime soon. The good thing is that if they can't give me the assurance I need, I will go back to Sky as the arsehole cunt boss that I left because of has since been bought out of the company and the bosses there are begging me to go back, and for more money. Now, bearing in mind that they're really gossipy there and the female boss rings me all the time for business advice and then does nothing about it, I'm not that keen on going back but if Mr. Jackson does come back here, at least I've got a choice and can leave this one and go back to Sky. I'm sure Jim will be pleased too 
What else? Oh yeah, I've eaten way too much since seeing the shrink. This is not good news and I need to act. I have dug out my Skinny Bitch books and need to delve in ASAP. Then again, I'm completely skint and can't afford fresh fruit and veg, and I'm sure that's what it's gonna say I need to buy. Maybe just stick with the beans on toast for the moment and stop buying treats like the box of bloody chocolate cornflake pieces I've got here in front of me right now Ugh, tomorrow is another day, I'll start restricting again then before I put on too much. I've just spent the last 3 weeks losing and now I'm gonna put it all straight back on again, I'm my own worst enemy! 
OK, after yesterday's rant about a photograph on a certain SG's blog, I'm not going to tell anyone who I was referring to as it'll only make you all go to her blog, which is exactly what I don't want to happen! I have made a complaint and hope that I get a reply from staff at some point soon.
Oh, and I'm going to see this band tomorrow so I'm frantically now trying to listen to their latest album and learn it in time, don't think I'll do it somehow Still, I'm looking forward to seeing Tom De Longe and hoping that his voice doesn't disappoint me this time. No doubt there'll be photos to follow in the coming couple of days.
I still haven't got my Pip tattoo done either and I really want it done ASAP. I'm just so broke right now, I'm gonna have to wait (which I really don't want to do ). Anyway, I've bought the design online and here it is:
This will go on the inside of my right wrist and will have Pip written underneath it. Obviously being a girl I reserve the right to change my mind but I think this will be the one and I sincerely hope I can get it done soon.
So that's me today, been a busy bee and now at 8.17pm I need my bed. Oh well, I'll have to wait until I finish at midnight but I have a lovely fresh bed to get into with crisp fresh sheets and a completely clear floor (i.e. no discarded clothes or bags of clothes for recycling to be seen) and no cobwebs either! Yay for me
So at 12.05am I will get home, get a drink of juice and then dash upstairs to my immaculate bedroom, get in my nice clean bed and snuggle with my favourite doggy in the whole wide world, my Tessie. I can't wait
Wow, what a weekend I've had. While there's been no drunkeness or debauchery, I've got a shit load done and I'm feeling really good.
I'm starting wonder if Citalopram is amphetamine based as I seem to have had a rocket up my arse the last few days!
Yesterday I did a few things in the house and cleaned out the gerbils etc. Today I was up at 7.45am and completely gutted my bedroom and bathroom to within an inch of their lives. I even hoovered the bloody ceilings to clear away any cobwebs and washed the windows!
After that I got on and had a hot shower and then made myself look the best I possibly could and went to Stinky's mate John's house to pick up the spikes. I was a little worried that Stinky might appear but thankfully I had faith in John that he wouldn't tell him and I was right. So no drama, got the box of spikes in the back of the van and drove away, job done. Now, John lives a good few miles from my house but only a few minutes away from the crematorium so on my way back home I nipped into the garden of remembrance for a minute. This is something I've felt the need to do since the last time I went which was about a month ago (already!). The weird thing is though that once I got there today I didn't actually feel much at all, it was really odd. The last time I went there I spent about an hour there and balled my eyes out but this time, nothing. I didn't feel the need to take flowers just merely 'pop in' which is what I did. Incidentally when I got to the tree I'd picked for Pip, there were a load of flowers there for a little boy called Joshua who died in January 2004, aged only a few weeks; he'd been born in November 2003. There were lots of little toys of Postman Pat there and easter eggs etc., it was very touching and made me realise that actually, people do go through some terrible things in their lives but we all get over the initial pain and are able to smile again. I really do feel that I am turning a corner with losing Pip now. The pain is nowhere near as bad as it was even a couple of weeks ago. And I haven't cried today either
I'm hoping that it's not just the drugs that are making me feel happier and that I really am starting to deal with my life but we'll see.
So after the quick visit to the crem I went and did a bit of shopping. Fucking groceries, I spent over 50 and didn't even have anything for dinner! Still, I'm pleased because I managed to find another supplier of vegetarian omega 3's which I've been trying to find for a while
Now I'm at the taxi office working tonight and its really quiet to say the least. Still, I have my laptop to keep me amused
I came into the office tonight and checked the staff folder which we all update after each shift and there is a note in there from Thursday to say an ex of mine (who I used to go out with before Stinky and who shit on me with at least 4 other girls before I found out!) has rung in to see if there are any jobs going. If he fucking comes to work here, I'm off, immediately. I actually did something really juvenile to this guy when I found out he'd been cheating with so many. I'd remembered the one time he told me his email password so I hacked into it after I dumped him and changed his friends reunited profile to declare I AM GAY!! This was probably not a good move as he's a bit of a dangerous and unpredictable fella and has already spent a few years in nick for violence (I know, I don't half pick 'em eh!
) Anyway, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since we split in 2005 - I thought as he'd recently done over the local tandoori he'd buggered off back to Bedford, but obviously he's back in town again. Thank god I've been warned already. I will be speaking to the new boss first thing tomorrow about him and getting assurances that he won't be working here anytime soon. The good thing is that if they can't give me the assurance I need, I will go back to Sky as the arsehole cunt boss that I left because of has since been bought out of the company and the bosses there are begging me to go back, and for more money. Now, bearing in mind that they're really gossipy there and the female boss rings me all the time for business advice and then does nothing about it, I'm not that keen on going back but if Mr. Jackson does come back here, at least I've got a choice and can leave this one and go back to Sky. I'm sure Jim will be pleased too
What else? Oh yeah, I've eaten way too much since seeing the shrink. This is not good news and I need to act. I have dug out my Skinny Bitch books and need to delve in ASAP. Then again, I'm completely skint and can't afford fresh fruit and veg, and I'm sure that's what it's gonna say I need to buy. Maybe just stick with the beans on toast for the moment and stop buying treats like the box of bloody chocolate cornflake pieces I've got here in front of me right now
Ugh, tomorrow is another day, I'll start restricting again then before I put on too much. I've just spent the last 3 weeks losing and now I'm gonna put it all straight back on again, I'm my own worst enemy!
OK, after yesterday's rant about a photograph on a certain SG's blog, I'm not going to tell anyone who I was referring to as it'll only make you all go to her blog, which is exactly what I don't want to happen! I have made a complaint and hope that I get a reply from staff at some point soon.
Oh, and I'm going to see this band tomorrow so I'm frantically now trying to listen to their latest album and learn it in time, don't think I'll do it somehow
Still, I'm looking forward to seeing Tom De Longe and hoping that his voice doesn't disappoint me this time. No doubt there'll be photos to follow in the coming couple of days.
I still haven't got my Pip tattoo done either and I really want it done ASAP. I'm just so broke right now, I'm gonna have to wait (which I really don't want to do
). Anyway, I've bought the design online and here it is:
This will go on the inside of my right wrist and will have Pip written underneath it. Obviously being a girl I reserve the right to change my mind but I think this will be the one and I sincerely hope I can get it done soon.
So that's me today, been a busy bee and now at 8.17pm I need my bed. Oh well, I'll have to wait until I finish at midnight but I have a lovely fresh bed to get into with crisp fresh sheets and a completely clear floor (i.e. no discarded clothes or bags of clothes for recycling to be seen) and no cobwebs either! Yay for me
So at 12.05am I will get home, get a drink of juice and then dash upstairs to my immaculate bedroom, get in my nice clean bed and snuggle with my favourite doggy in the whole wide world, my Tessie. I can't wait
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I am glad to hear that you are doing good, beautiful :]