Going home was great, that is, for most of the 32 hours I was there. Arriving Friday night at 11pm, Tommeh and others swooped me up from the airport and whisked me to his favorite Lower Haight spots. Despite some conflicting politics between my two best friends who both live in the city and both have concrete opinions on acceptable destinations, it was a great time.
Saturday was my grandmother's 90th birthday, the reason for my lightning quick trip to the bay area. She had no idea I was coming and was elated that I had travelled so far for the occasion. My cousin Lauren was on hand for the event as well. She was a welcome respite from some of my excessively inebriated aunts and uncles. I love being present whenever my dad's big family congregates because they are hilarious and smart and genuine, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable when an aunt or uncle has too much to drink. actually, it just makes me really sad.
My aunt showed a movie that she had made (you know one of those videos of photographs set to music) for grandma's 85th and she showed it again Saturday. She has an amazing collection of pictures of everyone and its downright hilarious to watch together because our family is so damn sarcastic that no photo goes without a funny remark. While, on the one hand, the feeling of connectedness is palpable when standing in that room, there is a sad undertone as well. That film was a painful reminder of the patriarch and sibling not there to chime in (my uncle and grandfather died within a few years of each other). It made me want to go and put my arm around my dad, but the thought of doing so nearly made me cry. Seeing my dad break down remains as one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness, though I haven't seen it happen since a night many years ago when he lost one of his brothers.
It crushed me on the ride home to hear my dad talk about how hard it is for him to see pictures of himself with his brother Tim. Beautiful pictures of them, rugged and handsome on the deck of the Tahoe house, made the whole room go silent with warmth and sadness.
Saturday was my grandmother's 90th birthday, the reason for my lightning quick trip to the bay area. She had no idea I was coming and was elated that I had travelled so far for the occasion. My cousin Lauren was on hand for the event as well. She was a welcome respite from some of my excessively inebriated aunts and uncles. I love being present whenever my dad's big family congregates because they are hilarious and smart and genuine, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable when an aunt or uncle has too much to drink. actually, it just makes me really sad.
My aunt showed a movie that she had made (you know one of those videos of photographs set to music) for grandma's 85th and she showed it again Saturday. She has an amazing collection of pictures of everyone and its downright hilarious to watch together because our family is so damn sarcastic that no photo goes without a funny remark. While, on the one hand, the feeling of connectedness is palpable when standing in that room, there is a sad undertone as well. That film was a painful reminder of the patriarch and sibling not there to chime in (my uncle and grandfather died within a few years of each other). It made me want to go and put my arm around my dad, but the thought of doing so nearly made me cry. Seeing my dad break down remains as one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness, though I haven't seen it happen since a night many years ago when he lost one of his brothers.
It crushed me on the ride home to hear my dad talk about how hard it is for him to see pictures of himself with his brother Tim. Beautiful pictures of them, rugged and handsome on the deck of the Tahoe house, made the whole room go silent with warmth and sadness.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
So great of you to surprise your grandma like that.
Hopefully I will get to see you soon. Kailey will be here at Thanksgiving time too, so we should all do something.
Love you!
Me