likeclockwork

I know you have all seen the infomercial for the Tempur Pedic mattress. ya know, "space age" material developed by NASA, feels like "sleeping on a cloud"? i think that i might just have to have one. but, as the list of things i plan to buy when i win the lottery (after consecutive entries about this huge jackpot you're beginning to see i'm dead serious....does being determined help my chances any?) gets ever longer, i do have a lingering concern about this mattress. my suspicion is, and please, let me know what you think/have experienced, would having sex on a bed like this be sort of like pumping your date into a pit of quick sand? in other words, would the lack of a springy response (and sqeaky sound that has your downstairs neighbor's ears pressed to the wall) become painfully tiresome? might i find myself accumulating carpet burns after sex had been relegated to the floor and kitchen counter?

alas, this pondering will likely have little bearing in my decision to transition to the Swedish sleep system because a) the closest thing I have to a girlfriend is Tommeh and b) jackpot or no jackpot, tempur pedic is offering a 120 night trial period. 4 months!!

so, if you haven't seen this infomercial, i recommend checking it out. although, i can offer far superior late night entertainment opportunities if you do enjoy infomercials. the Magic Bullet spot is just downright incredible. in fact, i have a deal in the works for RoseMarie to adapt it to the silver screen with myself and BabyBeezer in lead roles. similarly, the ad for the Miracle Blade Perfection Series with Chef Tony is great too. both shine for different reasons though: Chef Tony dazzles you with his flashy cutlery skills despite a weak co-hostess (archetypical of course- uninformed but cooperative and eager nonetheless). wait fuck...the co-hostess is actually in a related Chef Tony infomercial that just doesn't compare to the miracle blade spot (Chef Tony concocts a guacamole in his "ultimate chopper" using yogurt and blue cheese? *) The Magic Bullet spot , on the other hand, relies on pure unadulterated theatrical genius that features a phenomenal supporting cast that is as cohesive as it is dynamic, quick-witted but oh so terribly true to life.

i really have no clue what just produced that rant.


*Chef Tony, as I see it, takes a bit of artistic license in his rendition of guacamole here. its not this preparation alone that cripples the overall presentation (subsequent concotions are lackluster at best), nor am i entriely opposed to sampling guacamole of this strain someday, but isn't it food like this that, even if only initially, reminds you of stuff that makes your whole body shudder when you swallow it? ya know, like a dinner when grandma went real heavy on the black olives? happens to me at least...

by the way. WHAT THE FUCK was that little clarification asterisk for?? maybe i should complete this 4am insanity and send this little entry over to CBS as proof that any and all future programming should have my seal of approval.