In one month exactly, Ill be 35. Im not sure how I feel about that. I dont feel that old, I still feel like I did when I was in my twenties.
I had dinner at a new Malaysian restaurant, the food was great. Afterwards my roommate and I went next door to an oriental food store where we played drink roulette. Drink roulette is picking something to drink based solely on what the can looks like. Neither one of us read Chinese or Japanese so you never really know what youre going to get. I also picked up some Hello Panda candy and some sort of snack chip with a cartoon pirate on the bag and no English writing.
My roommate, What are you getting?
Me, I dont know, its got a pirate on it though.
20 random things about me.
1. I cried all day on my first day of kindergarten. I had never been left with anyone not in my immediate family. It was the first time I was left with complete strangers and I flipped out.
2. Ive never broken one of my bones. The closest Ive come was several cracked ribs in a car accident when I was 13. I have however broken other peoples bones.
3. I have a very negative self body image.
4. Ive never fooled around with someone involved with one of my friends. Ive had several opportunities where the girl wanted to, but I think anyone who does that to their friend is a shity friend. I have had a friend who did this to me; it took me several years to forgive him. Before she left him she came to me but I sent her away. Even though I didnt consider him a friend at the time, I didnt want him to experience the pain I felt when I found out about them.
5. I like disco. God knows why, but I like ABBA. Like Homer Simpson, I like the song Its raining men. Its a great club song. See number 6.
6. Back in the mid 90s my favorite club in town was a gay bar.
7. I hate going to clubs now because my hearing is so bad. Any club that plays loud music, which is all of them, renders me completely deaf. Unless you are screaming right in my ear I cant hear anything except the music. Plus cretin kinds of loud music turns into a solid sound that gives me I skull cracking headache. All of that makes me incredibly self-conscious.
8. My writers block is back. I guess its not so much a block as just being depressed and only bring able to write depressing things.
9. Ive been playing Final Fantasy online everyday for way too many hours. Its not that I like it so much; its more of something to do. Dont get me wrong, its a fun game but I use it to kill time.
10. Ive become a lurker on SG. Most of the time I just dont have anything to say. Since Ive been out of work I feel like I just dont have much to say. Most days I get up at 7, read some web sites, post in the LightBulbJack thread in the Kazoo group, play FFO for a few hours, maybe go out for a while, play some more FFO, watch TV and go to bed. Every couple of days I go out and apply for jobs that never call me back. Repeat repeat repeat, thats my week.
11. My family has no idea who I am.
12. I want to be a writer but dont have the confidence to pursue it.
13. When I believe in myself Im unstoppable, but its been a long time since Ive believed in myself.
14. Since I dont have any insurance, my doctor has been giving my samples for the meds I take for depression. Because I dont know how long she will be able to keep doing it, I dont always take my meds everyday. Doing this has given me some huge mood swings lately. Ive got an appointment with my doctor on Thursday and when she asks me if Ive had any thought about hurting myself, I need to tell her the truth. Ive been thinking about cutting and I know that, that is the start of a dark path for me that I dont want to go down again. I dont think I should post this because I dont want people to see my flaws. That said, Ive found the best way to pull myself out of these moods is to talk about them and be honest.
15. Heres whats on my ipod: Alice in Chains, Ani Defranco, Black Eyed Peas, Bloodhound, Bob and Tom, David Bowie, Chevelle, Dead Kennedys, Disco, Enya, Garbage, Good Charlotte, Jill Sobule, Johnny Cash, K.D. Lang, Man of La Mancha Broadway soundtrack. Mazzy Starr, Meatloaf, Melissa Ferrick, Metallica, No Doubt, Paul Anka, Rolling Stones, The Doors, The Misfits, The Simpsons, Tom Waits, Tori Amos, Vandels, Velvet Revolver, Orson Wells War of the Worlds, Jeff Waynes War of the Worlds, White Strips, Yo-Yo Ma, and mixed artist play list.
16. Im addicted to caffeine and sleeping pills.
17. I committed a crime in the state of Indiana in 1989 and as a result I stayed out of the state until the 7-year statue of limitations expired. Dont ask because Im not saying what I did.
18. I want to move to Chicago.
19. I like giving flowers for no reason. I once sent a bouquet of daisies to a girl I was seeing for her unbirthday. It made her cry, no one had ever sent her flowers, or given her flowers for no reason.
20. Im a hopeless romantic at heart.
All in all, I'm doing ok.
I had dinner at a new Malaysian restaurant, the food was great. Afterwards my roommate and I went next door to an oriental food store where we played drink roulette. Drink roulette is picking something to drink based solely on what the can looks like. Neither one of us read Chinese or Japanese so you never really know what youre going to get. I also picked up some Hello Panda candy and some sort of snack chip with a cartoon pirate on the bag and no English writing.
My roommate, What are you getting?
Me, I dont know, its got a pirate on it though.
20 random things about me.
1. I cried all day on my first day of kindergarten. I had never been left with anyone not in my immediate family. It was the first time I was left with complete strangers and I flipped out.
2. Ive never broken one of my bones. The closest Ive come was several cracked ribs in a car accident when I was 13. I have however broken other peoples bones.
3. I have a very negative self body image.
4. Ive never fooled around with someone involved with one of my friends. Ive had several opportunities where the girl wanted to, but I think anyone who does that to their friend is a shity friend. I have had a friend who did this to me; it took me several years to forgive him. Before she left him she came to me but I sent her away. Even though I didnt consider him a friend at the time, I didnt want him to experience the pain I felt when I found out about them.
5. I like disco. God knows why, but I like ABBA. Like Homer Simpson, I like the song Its raining men. Its a great club song. See number 6.
6. Back in the mid 90s my favorite club in town was a gay bar.
7. I hate going to clubs now because my hearing is so bad. Any club that plays loud music, which is all of them, renders me completely deaf. Unless you are screaming right in my ear I cant hear anything except the music. Plus cretin kinds of loud music turns into a solid sound that gives me I skull cracking headache. All of that makes me incredibly self-conscious.
8. My writers block is back. I guess its not so much a block as just being depressed and only bring able to write depressing things.
9. Ive been playing Final Fantasy online everyday for way too many hours. Its not that I like it so much; its more of something to do. Dont get me wrong, its a fun game but I use it to kill time.
10. Ive become a lurker on SG. Most of the time I just dont have anything to say. Since Ive been out of work I feel like I just dont have much to say. Most days I get up at 7, read some web sites, post in the LightBulbJack thread in the Kazoo group, play FFO for a few hours, maybe go out for a while, play some more FFO, watch TV and go to bed. Every couple of days I go out and apply for jobs that never call me back. Repeat repeat repeat, thats my week.
11. My family has no idea who I am.
12. I want to be a writer but dont have the confidence to pursue it.
13. When I believe in myself Im unstoppable, but its been a long time since Ive believed in myself.
14. Since I dont have any insurance, my doctor has been giving my samples for the meds I take for depression. Because I dont know how long she will be able to keep doing it, I dont always take my meds everyday. Doing this has given me some huge mood swings lately. Ive got an appointment with my doctor on Thursday and when she asks me if Ive had any thought about hurting myself, I need to tell her the truth. Ive been thinking about cutting and I know that, that is the start of a dark path for me that I dont want to go down again. I dont think I should post this because I dont want people to see my flaws. That said, Ive found the best way to pull myself out of these moods is to talk about them and be honest.
15. Heres whats on my ipod: Alice in Chains, Ani Defranco, Black Eyed Peas, Bloodhound, Bob and Tom, David Bowie, Chevelle, Dead Kennedys, Disco, Enya, Garbage, Good Charlotte, Jill Sobule, Johnny Cash, K.D. Lang, Man of La Mancha Broadway soundtrack. Mazzy Starr, Meatloaf, Melissa Ferrick, Metallica, No Doubt, Paul Anka, Rolling Stones, The Doors, The Misfits, The Simpsons, Tom Waits, Tori Amos, Vandels, Velvet Revolver, Orson Wells War of the Worlds, Jeff Waynes War of the Worlds, White Strips, Yo-Yo Ma, and mixed artist play list.
16. Im addicted to caffeine and sleeping pills.
17. I committed a crime in the state of Indiana in 1989 and as a result I stayed out of the state until the 7-year statue of limitations expired. Dont ask because Im not saying what I did.
18. I want to move to Chicago.
19. I like giving flowers for no reason. I once sent a bouquet of daisies to a girl I was seeing for her unbirthday. It made her cry, no one had ever sent her flowers, or given her flowers for no reason.
20. Im a hopeless romantic at heart.
All in all, I'm doing ok.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ladymaze:
Nah...that's Eloa's kitty, sitting in my room being goth and sexxy.
aaronsrod:
I just can't stay away from this place, I miss you guys too much so can we be brothers again pleeease, sad and fickle I know but there you go in the end for me it is about the your friendship rather than sg that keeps me here.