Well, yuck.
I am leaving for Tennessee in a couple days and had to bid 'adieu' to Ashley. I say a lot of good-bye's in my life and sometimes it sucks more than others. I can only trust that the way we touched each other will continue to have positive effects tho our lives have diverged. I cried a little. Not as much as she, but only due to my familiarity with 'it all'. She's wonderful and I will miss her presence.
Attatched to that, of course, yes, I am heading out to the road again. I did not end up having enough disposable income to buy a laptop, which is even sadder now that I have found out that the cabin I'll be staying in has wireless interwebs access. I'll have this grand girl, my clear-graphite I-mac desktop, but alas, she has no Airport. Still, tho, I think my posts will actually increase, oddly enough. I haven't done much on the computer here as it in a community area of the house and I just haven't been able to stomache the vibes from certain housemates. So, when I AM home (not often), I tend to lock myself in my room or chain-smoke with liquor in the backyard. While in Tennessee, I can type posts on my Compy, save em to a flash drive and just plug em in to any of the half-dozen other laptops at the campground and upload them from there. We'll see. I should come out pretty well financially by half-way thru June (as I won't have enough time to spend the money I make) so I can try to get a macbook again then.
So, 4 weeks at the Tennessee Renn Fest plus a Burlesque show in Asheville, NC, then 2 weeks at the St. Louis Faire (which I have never seen, so i'm pretty excited) all doing my solo "Death Stands Up!" routine. It's been 6 months since i have done it, so I have a week to remember it all AND get a new bit about Limbo being vanished from the Catholic mythology written for it (it's just TOO juicy to ignore). Luckily I work best under pressure.
I have a 2 month reprieve from MudShows and I still haven't made a final FINAL decision on if I will do it again in Michigan in September. It's a pretty tough call. It's cold there at that time (to be wet and half naked) and I could be the most experienced member in the troupe then (which can be a rough position to be in!), but if the money is right...
The homeless trumpeter Carl never found me. I am trying to be zen and not make assumptions about why. I only wish he had.
My Priest dreamt of me the other night. She saw me as a priest with parishoners, but I was distracted from them by some huge, unwieldy hat I was wearing. I missed much of what was going on because I kept trying to keep this oddball hat from falling off my head. She recalled writing a note to me upon waking. The note was not to take the hat off, but for god's sake, quit fiddling with it. Either it would fall or it wouldn't. Take what you will from that. I am still pondering it myself.
Anyway, i'm babbling a little. Pretty much I am just rather confused lately and my heart hurts today. It will pass but the hurt is here right now...
Love you all and i am sorry if i haven't kept up with your posts. I will catch up soon, i promise!
I am leaving for Tennessee in a couple days and had to bid 'adieu' to Ashley. I say a lot of good-bye's in my life and sometimes it sucks more than others. I can only trust that the way we touched each other will continue to have positive effects tho our lives have diverged. I cried a little. Not as much as she, but only due to my familiarity with 'it all'. She's wonderful and I will miss her presence.
Attatched to that, of course, yes, I am heading out to the road again. I did not end up having enough disposable income to buy a laptop, which is even sadder now that I have found out that the cabin I'll be staying in has wireless interwebs access. I'll have this grand girl, my clear-graphite I-mac desktop, but alas, she has no Airport. Still, tho, I think my posts will actually increase, oddly enough. I haven't done much on the computer here as it in a community area of the house and I just haven't been able to stomache the vibes from certain housemates. So, when I AM home (not often), I tend to lock myself in my room or chain-smoke with liquor in the backyard. While in Tennessee, I can type posts on my Compy, save em to a flash drive and just plug em in to any of the half-dozen other laptops at the campground and upload them from there. We'll see. I should come out pretty well financially by half-way thru June (as I won't have enough time to spend the money I make) so I can try to get a macbook again then.
So, 4 weeks at the Tennessee Renn Fest plus a Burlesque show in Asheville, NC, then 2 weeks at the St. Louis Faire (which I have never seen, so i'm pretty excited) all doing my solo "Death Stands Up!" routine. It's been 6 months since i have done it, so I have a week to remember it all AND get a new bit about Limbo being vanished from the Catholic mythology written for it (it's just TOO juicy to ignore). Luckily I work best under pressure.
I have a 2 month reprieve from MudShows and I still haven't made a final FINAL decision on if I will do it again in Michigan in September. It's a pretty tough call. It's cold there at that time (to be wet and half naked) and I could be the most experienced member in the troupe then (which can be a rough position to be in!), but if the money is right...
The homeless trumpeter Carl never found me. I am trying to be zen and not make assumptions about why. I only wish he had.
My Priest dreamt of me the other night. She saw me as a priest with parishoners, but I was distracted from them by some huge, unwieldy hat I was wearing. I missed much of what was going on because I kept trying to keep this oddball hat from falling off my head. She recalled writing a note to me upon waking. The note was not to take the hat off, but for god's sake, quit fiddling with it. Either it would fall or it wouldn't. Take what you will from that. I am still pondering it myself.
Anyway, i'm babbling a little. Pretty much I am just rather confused lately and my heart hurts today. It will pass but the hurt is here right now...
Love you all and i am sorry if i haven't kept up with your posts. I will catch up soon, i promise!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Current Mood - Swashbuckling. Listening to Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack. Makes me want to swing from ropes, clash swords and fight magical creatures. Now that would be a whole bunch of fun.
It shouldn't be about others, and what they're up to. As my sister pointed out to me last night, there was a period after I split up with my ex-ex (as in 2 gfs ago) that, once I'd got over it, and started purely living for myself, I actually told her it was the happiest I'd ever been. I'm close to that state again, maybe it's the proximity that's causing me to go a bit odd. Ah, were my life simple enough for me to understand, I'd be too simple to understand it, to paraphrase someone.
Still, I've had a good nights rest, some good guidance and advice from friends (looking in your general direction), and I think the main thing is that I just relax. Chill the fuck out. Stop worrying so damn much, for life is good. Very good.
Please pardon my ignorance, but what is the church of the subgenius? I think I'm going to have to look into it, sounds like a good outlook on life. I was thinking about becoming a sciencetologist, but then I realised they were actually serious. I had better tread carefully here, I don't yet know your views on them, and I don't want to offend you. I assure you, my religious sensiblities can't be offended, I don't have any.
Ah, just re-read your profile, I was actually thinking of getting a new tattoo on my left forearm, with the words 'for I am a raindog too', but I don't know if it would be appropriate, or whether I'd just get bored explaining to people what it meant. I could change it to 'for I am a raingod too', but that may cause even more confusion
Mmm, waffley and disjointed, but that's what you get for writing in between rendering
Woo, tuesday!
Oh yes, just before I forget, saw and loved Hot Fuzz. We did the effects for it at my company, but I missed out working on it, that would have been sweet.
Stay well, and stay in touch,
D
I'd love to see your 'death stands up' show. If you ever come to the UK I'll find you a venue or two...
i hope you are well.
Peace and happy voodoo...