leyrae

My girlfriend is sleeping on the bed right now. I want to go cuddle her but I think Ill leave her alone. In not quite sure how to be since the phone call this morning. Her ex girlfriend passed away this morning, and Desarae has been pretty upset.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. This is a girl who has treated Desarae pretty badly and has a very shady past. There has been conflict between Des and I about her ex for quite a while.

I feel bad for Desarae though. I think she feels bad for leaving this girl when she was sick, but it was over between them anyway, and its NOT Desaraes fault. Desarae needed to have a life and move on.

I'm just so fucking pissed at the situation in general. You see, no young person should ever have to die because of complications of diabetes. Apparently when this girl was a teenager she was into heavy drugs and began to show symptoms of her then undiagnosed diabetes. Her parents ignored the signs of her being diabetic because they thought those signs were being caused by the drugs.

When she was finally diagnosed she still didnt take care of herself. The family never ate at home at had McDonalds etc 2, 3 or more times a day. They have lots and lots of money and the mother refuses to cook.

This girl needed a kidney and her dad or aunt was a match. The surgery was supposed to happen this month. The family is constantly moving though, and Im guessing they were going to do the surgery in the state they moved to.

Now let me tell you a fucking god damn thing here. If my child was strung out on coke and acting funny you bet I wouldnt fucking ignore it. To IGNORE her symptoms because you thught it was just the drugs is absolutely SICK! Its because of the drugs that they should have got her help in the first place.

Second of all, if I was a stay at home "mom" with a wealthy husband and a sick child you can bet that every meal would be a HEALTHY meal cook BY ME! No fucking McDonalds. How can you be so stupid as to let your sick kid eat that shit 3 times a day!

But this girl was an adult. She knew what she was doing to her body. She should have taken better care of it. To top it all off, she had a really bad attitude and was mean spirited in her final days. Now if Im that sick and I know I could die, you bet your bottom dollar that Id be as nice as possible. You hear of people with deadly cancer and AIDS who live on forever because of their positive attitudes (my aunt being one of them). Bringing negativity to yourself just kills you faster.

There was no reason for this girl to die. Her mom is at fault and she herself is at fault. I just can't believe that thier last chance of hope, the kidney transplant, was not taken as seriously as it should have been. If it was my child and I found out I was a match I would have ordered the doctors to open me up TOMMORROW! Fuck the move, fuck everything, that would NOT wait. And if they refused I'd go to the next doctor and the next and the next. And if that failed you bet I would be taking my child and flying out of the country to somplace where they would do it. If my baby was going to die I would have nothing to lose anyway. I would sell my soul, prostitute myself on the street, do anything to take care of what I had to do for my kid, but these people are NOT POOR, they could have afforded to this, and there is no excuse.

Gawd. I'm so pissed. That whole family is fucked. There are things, that I just wont mention, gross things, disgusting things, and Desarae lived with them for 5 years. I know she is going to be hurt but I hope that she can see things for what they were and what they are and find solace in herself, finally moving on from that chapter of her life.