I wonder if this is common for everyone?
In the last ten years I've noticed something that seems to happen in my attitude. I'm not sure how to describe it exactly. It's like a change in the level of attention given to the smaller details and pleasures in life.
It occurs in waves. It increases and then decreases and then increases again and so on.
At some point I feel a build-up of fickleness. I get annoyed by little things like whether someone chews with their mouth open or not [1]; I scoff at the attitudes of others; I inwardly mock those who put themselves out there in some way that disagrees with me (like asking a stupid question). It's also usually at this time that I'm at my laziest and have ignored things that I would normally like doing. I lose an appreciation of the little pleasures of the world. I start noticing the negatives instead of the positives.
And then something reminds me of how I really like things. A song, a distant memory, an image, a person. I'm reminded that there are a lot of little things that I know I'd prefer to be doing; there are ways of thinking I'd prefer to be enabling; there are attitudes I'd prefer to be taking.
In this case, it's a combination of things:
A conversation with a far away ex-girlfriend about how she never has any time or drive to be creative [2]
A song reminding you that, when you're feeling lost and confused, you mustn't forget all the great things you have at your fingertips [3]
A very old memory of lying on the grass in a park with a girl I had a crush on, all the time writing concrete poetry for her that spoke to her every whim - and she would tell me every moment that it was simply amazing
Another memory of standing in a square beside the Seine in a seemingly-deserted Paris at 1am; that feeling of her and I owning the city simply because it looked like we were the only people left, and how we felt unstoppable and invincible and more in-tune with one another than ever before [4]
I'm reminded that I am generally a positive person. I'm accepting and tolerant and open. And my attitude changes and I slowly repair those aspects in me, at least up to a point - sometimes I don't manage to get it entirely fixed. Then eventually I let my guard down and I let myself get infected with all of those little fickle things again until I realise it and reverse it once more.
As I said, it happens in waves.
Life is not a collection of objects (that will never fit in your grave anyway, so why bother?); it's not achieving a higher tax threshold; it's no life to spend it trying to escape the drudgery of your existence by regularly drinking yourself stupid.
Life is a string of experiences, and I intend to have as many great ones as possible.
[6]
TL;DR, I know
In the last ten years I've noticed something that seems to happen in my attitude. I'm not sure how to describe it exactly. It's like a change in the level of attention given to the smaller details and pleasures in life.
It occurs in waves. It increases and then decreases and then increases again and so on.
At some point I feel a build-up of fickleness. I get annoyed by little things like whether someone chews with their mouth open or not [1]; I scoff at the attitudes of others; I inwardly mock those who put themselves out there in some way that disagrees with me (like asking a stupid question). It's also usually at this time that I'm at my laziest and have ignored things that I would normally like doing. I lose an appreciation of the little pleasures of the world. I start noticing the negatives instead of the positives.
And then something reminds me of how I really like things. A song, a distant memory, an image, a person. I'm reminded that there are a lot of little things that I know I'd prefer to be doing; there are ways of thinking I'd prefer to be enabling; there are attitudes I'd prefer to be taking.
In this case, it's a combination of things:
A conversation with a far away ex-girlfriend about how she never has any time or drive to be creative [2]
A song reminding you that, when you're feeling lost and confused, you mustn't forget all the great things you have at your fingertips [3]
A very old memory of lying on the grass in a park with a girl I had a crush on, all the time writing concrete poetry for her that spoke to her every whim - and she would tell me every moment that it was simply amazing
Another memory of standing in a square beside the Seine in a seemingly-deserted Paris at 1am; that feeling of her and I owning the city simply because it looked like we were the only people left, and how we felt unstoppable and invincible and more in-tune with one another than ever before [4]
I'm reminded that I am generally a positive person. I'm accepting and tolerant and open. And my attitude changes and I slowly repair those aspects in me, at least up to a point - sometimes I don't manage to get it entirely fixed. Then eventually I let my guard down and I let myself get infected with all of those little fickle things again until I realise it and reverse it once more.
As I said, it happens in waves.
Life is not a collection of objects (that will never fit in your grave anyway, so why bother?); it's not achieving a higher tax threshold; it's no life to spend it trying to escape the drudgery of your existence by regularly drinking yourself stupid.
Life is a string of experiences, and I intend to have as many great ones as possible.
[6]
TL;DR, I know
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Thats cool re only 1 hr to brissy. Ill be up on the gold coast for about 4 days over xmas. And my good friend lives up in brissy, i look forward to meeting all you guys!
Glad to meet another SEQLDer!