lexanity

Sometimes I think not having a heart would be so much easier than to love with all you possibly can and be ripped to shreds every time, Everyday he is around I am reminded of what a fool i was and how horrible of a mother and person I am. The loneliness is getting easier to deal with, The heartbreak is almost non existent and the tears definitely no longer flow. Holding my head up high but for how long before I break down and let this ruin me if only for one night i think it could be a good thing it is the picking myself back up part that i worry about.
I have been burying myself in house work the kids and my job as much as possible but late at night when I lay down I find my mind wandering to a dream where I will be loved for everything I am and everything I want to be. where my heart will never be taken advantage of and i will get everything i give back from the person i give my shattered heart to...
One day One day One day......