so regardless of the fact that i know nobody on here, and that there isn't a single person i can think of who would be reading this, i've decided to start using my blog. may as well vent on here, right?
life has been wierd to say the least since around thanksgiving... i'm out of school until jan 8th, and i'm currently trying to find a job, so i'm barely working at my current one, and this gives me way too much free time.
freaking out over nonsense (aka = a boy)
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
yesterday i woke up feeling totally depressed and just blah, and though i didn't admit it at the time, it was all over a boi. i'm in some sort of a relationship with a guy who barely has any time between work/school, and than is too exhausted to do anything more than drink beer and sleep the rest of the time. and on top of that i was starting to feel like maybe he didn't even give a shit, and that i should find a new guy.
however, i think i'm starting to freak some because of comments some people have made, and i realized that even though i would kind of like a more serious relationship, at the same time it scares the shit out of me for some reason. wierd comments not directed towards me about how at around 26/27 guys are more focused and are less likely to be playing around (key to that one is he's 27), and more from my roommate - what if you and vespa actually became like a serious couple? and maybe this all wouldn't be freaking me out if i didn't get little hints from him sometimes that he does give a shit about me, and actually does like being around me which wierdly enough i'm not entirely used to. needless to say as i was watching the holiday last night with my roommate and it was nearing the end, and i was getting more and more bitter about my current relationship of sorts (romantic comedies are not a goude idea when you're having relationship issues), he called. and i did something i never do, i left the theater in the middle of the movie and called him back. he was calling to apologize for not calling me sunday when he said he would, and i got incredibly happy, but than at the same time realized i might be in more of a real relationship than i previously thought.
i don't know, i guess i've just never been with a guy who actually cared enough to call about not calling, and made efforts to see me somewhat regularly. i think i just need to stay calm and not fuck this up.
we tend to over think EVERYTHING.
or at least i do.
you won't fuck it up, just hang in there.
i like your band tattoo btw.