I rode from Miami to Coral Springs this weekend... on a scooter.... I am absolutely insane. Sure at first I thought it might not be a good idea. For a short time, I suppose I had actually gotten wiser in my old age. That didn't last. Really, I thought wisdom was an obligatory benefit of getting old and not being a chimpanzee with limited reasoning ability...or a pc user. And true, it is often followed shortly thereafter by senility; but after gaining wisdom does one not deserve a little blissful ignorance (especially while groping your nurse during a sponge bath)?
Ah, yet somehow I manage to toss good judgement aside. It's like getting a birthday gift and saying "wow, everyone IN THE WORLD needs this..." and then throwing it away with the wrapping in favor of a hot pink super soaker 150. Which, really, I think a lot of the world's problems could be solved if everyone just used water pistols on each other. Although, it might make it a little harder for me to hold up a liquor store. But I digress... I became especially aware of my folly when I found myself scooting through the everglades and the only gas station for miles was populated by no less than several dozen highly customized cars and 200 people. Shit, this is one of those back roads people race on in the dead on night. I am about to become a casualty of South FL's own fast and the furious. I shall tokyo drift through a windshield in 5, 4, 3.....
Besides that, this person is humorous:
The media demi-gods of society will be pleased to know that Last Comic Standing is the reason I went. Am I not such a complete tool?? (that was sarcasm, you dicks, love you too). I had the opportunity to meet Matt Kirshen however, AND, this is especially pertinent to the story for an alcoholic, received free alcohol from a guy named Sal. Sal was a cool guy... I almost wished I'd gotten his number except that he frightened me with his whole NY pseudo mafia persona. "Sal sent us... you got what we need or does it have to get ugly? I don't think Sal's gonna like it if you turn us down. "
This, and a partial bottle of Yager are my trophies from the adventure:
Ridiculous, yes. On the whole, however, I think A. that I could be on to a new trend here. B. being insane is preferable to being...um, bored all of the time, despite the fact that it would potentially cut down on the liklihood of me getting skin cancer.
Ah, yet somehow I manage to toss good judgement aside. It's like getting a birthday gift and saying "wow, everyone IN THE WORLD needs this..." and then throwing it away with the wrapping in favor of a hot pink super soaker 150. Which, really, I think a lot of the world's problems could be solved if everyone just used water pistols on each other. Although, it might make it a little harder for me to hold up a liquor store. But I digress... I became especially aware of my folly when I found myself scooting through the everglades and the only gas station for miles was populated by no less than several dozen highly customized cars and 200 people. Shit, this is one of those back roads people race on in the dead on night. I am about to become a casualty of South FL's own fast and the furious. I shall tokyo drift through a windshield in 5, 4, 3.....
Besides that, this person is humorous:
The media demi-gods of society will be pleased to know that Last Comic Standing is the reason I went. Am I not such a complete tool?? (that was sarcasm, you dicks, love you too). I had the opportunity to meet Matt Kirshen however, AND, this is especially pertinent to the story for an alcoholic, received free alcohol from a guy named Sal. Sal was a cool guy... I almost wished I'd gotten his number except that he frightened me with his whole NY pseudo mafia persona. "Sal sent us... you got what we need or does it have to get ugly? I don't think Sal's gonna like it if you turn us down. "
This, and a partial bottle of Yager are my trophies from the adventure:
Ridiculous, yes. On the whole, however, I think A. that I could be on to a new trend here. B. being insane is preferable to being...um, bored all of the time, despite the fact that it would potentially cut down on the liklihood of me getting skin cancer.
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Did Sal really refer to himself in the third person?