Play this, and listen while you read my post.
I've been ready. But still preparing. Waiting.
Wondering about the old feelings that this new recording will cause to resurface in me. But I don't fear them any longer. That's the good part. I'm not wringing my hands in dread the way I would have had things not changed inside of me so drastically. Just slightly smiling because of what I've already lived through, with this music as the soundtrack for those moments. And I've lived out some of my wildest fantasies while those songs played over and over again.
But the most beautiful part is still to come. I'm going to marry the man of my dreams in 56 days. I'm stunned. Stunned that my life has become something that is overflowing with light and positive feelings. That my future holds real truth and purpose. That I have found everything I've ever wanted and more. That I've discovered who I am, and that I have the motivation and the energy to meet the woman I have yet to become.
I was someone else 5 years ago. A different woman with a different face and different blood that coursed through her veins. Although she was beautiful in so many ways, she was dangerous to herself and to those around her. She was plagued with negativity, and fear, and self loathing. She could be wicked and deceptive, but she was mostly just suicidal. She toyed with life instead of living it. At times, she craved pleasures of the flesh before exploration of the mind. She was alive, but not living.
I don't know her anymore. But she does come to visit from time to time, reminding me that life and time are precious, and that I shouldn't waste them on my own frivolity or on ingrates who don't elevate me. So I value her, and respect her. I keep her locked up in the back of my closet, behind my black dresses with the fine layer of dust on the shoulders that smell of old perfume.
She lurks there, but she really only emerges when I allow her to. I imagine that she will show her face when this album releases, when I have it in my hands, and when I cruise with the moonroof open, inhaling the night air, with the cobalt glow from my instrument panel illuminating the glittering tears that will well up in my eyes. And then she will go away. Because I will look at the man next to me in the passenger seat and I will take his hand, and I will tell him that I love him more than I could ever say.
Happy Friday.
Alice, I'll see you tonight.
Everyone else, I'll see you tomorrow.
I've been ready. But still preparing. Waiting.
Wondering about the old feelings that this new recording will cause to resurface in me. But I don't fear them any longer. That's the good part. I'm not wringing my hands in dread the way I would have had things not changed inside of me so drastically. Just slightly smiling because of what I've already lived through, with this music as the soundtrack for those moments. And I've lived out some of my wildest fantasies while those songs played over and over again.
But the most beautiful part is still to come. I'm going to marry the man of my dreams in 56 days. I'm stunned. Stunned that my life has become something that is overflowing with light and positive feelings. That my future holds real truth and purpose. That I have found everything I've ever wanted and more. That I've discovered who I am, and that I have the motivation and the energy to meet the woman I have yet to become.
I was someone else 5 years ago. A different woman with a different face and different blood that coursed through her veins. Although she was beautiful in so many ways, she was dangerous to herself and to those around her. She was plagued with negativity, and fear, and self loathing. She could be wicked and deceptive, but she was mostly just suicidal. She toyed with life instead of living it. At times, she craved pleasures of the flesh before exploration of the mind. She was alive, but not living.
I don't know her anymore. But she does come to visit from time to time, reminding me that life and time are precious, and that I shouldn't waste them on my own frivolity or on ingrates who don't elevate me. So I value her, and respect her. I keep her locked up in the back of my closet, behind my black dresses with the fine layer of dust on the shoulders that smell of old perfume.
She lurks there, but she really only emerges when I allow her to. I imagine that she will show her face when this album releases, when I have it in my hands, and when I cruise with the moonroof open, inhaling the night air, with the cobalt glow from my instrument panel illuminating the glittering tears that will well up in my eyes. And then she will go away. Because I will look at the man next to me in the passenger seat and I will take his hand, and I will tell him that I love him more than I could ever say.
Happy Friday.
Alice, I'll see you tonight.
Everyone else, I'll see you tomorrow.
But on a happier note I keep reading tidbits here and there about your wedding and I myself am engaged .. and I have to tell ya .. you are giving me wedding jitters! in a good way that is! I'm so excited for you! It just sounds like it is going to be magnificent and beautiful in so many ways. You definitely deserve it. You show nothing but true beauty everywhere. Best wishes Miss Lesa
Oh yeah, ROB ZOMBIE is on our site in the words section!