lesa

So ...

I'm here with so many thoughts spinning that I can't capture them in my hands long enough to type them out. It's after 10, we've been back for a full three days, and I just finished unpacking us last night while my husband read his much anticipated copy of "that book everyone has been talking about" on the sofa.

I know I promised details about the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, and all of the wonderful, magical feelings and thoughts that came along with everything that happened - but it's difficult to "recap" something so enormous, you know? Very difficult. So difficult in fact, that I don't know whether or not I'll even do so in words.

In fact, I think it might just be best to share my favorite photographs from each "chapter" of this story, and leave it at that, and allow everyone [who is remotely interested] to draw their own fantastical conclusions; sort of like the way you would if you were reading a book with no pictures and had to use your imagination. I figure that, without the narrative, things might somehow come across in a more emotional tone. Because they were. They are. This has been, and continues to be the most stunning, incredible, emotionally charged time of my life. It's hard to believe that we've only just begun this journey together.

So, yes. That is what I've done. I only have about a third of the photographs from the wedding and reception at my disposal thus far. Those are the ones that Shellee took (which were wonderful and fun, despite her doubts). The video will take longer. The other two thirds of the wedding photos still need to come from Elliott. But we do have all of the honeymoon photos already on a disc. It will definitely take some time to go through everything, size them, prepare them in order, etc. But they will be worth the wait. In the meantime, several sets are already posted on my live journal. If you're interested, let me know if you're a live journal user and I'll add you.

I don't know what things are going to be like for me once I return to work tomorrow. As I imagined before we left for the wedding and honeymoon, I don't know that I will be spending a lot of time here now. I have so much I want to do with my time. But work does tend to have it's lulls, and being online sometimes fills them. We'll see. No promises. But in the after hours, and the time I have at home now, I want to cook and paint our house, and decorate and go somewhere each and every weekend. No more time spent sitting in the same chair typing away at this keyboard unless it's something that will make a difference for me and elevate me in some way.

Our vacation taught me a lot of things. I learned that I am constantly making attempts at controlling my environment and my surroundings. Always trying to change things to make them more pleasant or more comfortable or more beautiful, and I discovered that I become angry (and sometimes very frightened) when that control is taken away from me, or when what I try to do doesn't work.

I also learned that things aren't always up to me. But this is. And what I decided when we got home was that things would not be the same, not that they were bad, but I never want our lives to become mundane. We would not resort to the same routines that will eventually make us regret not doing more. Doing things that create memories is what life is about. Sitting on a computer wasting away indoors all the time isn't on the list.

I will say this though. When we returned home from our trip, there was a large box waiting on the doorstep. It was filled with over 2 dozen long-stemmed, perfectly groomed, Black Magic roses waiting to be put into water. The card read:

"Welcome home, Mrs. May. I love you."

Signed,
Your husband, Mr. May.


No way will I waste another moment of my time now. Not when I've been given a chance to start fresh with a beautiful beginning like that.