LMFAO! You'd be surprised at the number of middle-aged men who will hit on you and buy you drinks at a club, even when you're draped in quintessential 80s prom attire!
So a girlfriend of mine has found a new way to amuse herself. She just registered onto ashleymadison.com, simply to satisfy her compulsive, bratty need to insult and to embarass horny old married men. For the past two days she's been talking to all sorts of colourful characters who post close-up pictures of their penises and promises of yacht rides and trips to the Bahamas. Surprisingly her unbridled sarcasm is taken mildly, it seems like some of these guys really get off on the degredation. Every time somone asks to see her pictures, she sends them to tubgirl.com. See for yourself just how lovely she is!!!
Yesterday while visiting my darling friend, she meets this one fellow who lives in the GTA and insists on taking her to a swingers club by Pearson airport. He offers to pay cover for the two of us (fee unknown at this point) and tells us to meet him at his hotel room for drinks first. So my impetuous but fairly cautious friend politely declines the hotel invitation and tells him we'll meet at him at the club later. She then runs to her closet, grabs this hideous sequined 80s taffeta fucking thing and says "I'm going to wear this, which means we have to get you one too!" Minutes later, I find myself in the change room of the nearby Value Village, trying on musty 80s abominations with frills, puffs, crinolin, you name it. I finally settled on this one silver and black prom-style dress that had crinolin lining and this weird tapered cumberbun-type thing around the waste. I looked just like an extra in Desperately Seeking Susan!
After we splurge at Value Village we head back to my friend's to continue getting ready for the big night. Neither of us have ever been to a swingers club before, and we were both feeling pretty nervous about going. We figured if we looked hideous that would lower the odds of getting hit on, so we proceed to call this fellow she met to ask about the cover. As it turns out, one night entrance fee without membership is $30 per person which was way to expensive. The fellow's offer to pay for us still stood, but we decided that putting our trust in a complete stranger who obviously expected some sexual gymnastics in return wasn't a very a good idea, so we sadly cancelled our plans.
To make a long story a bit shorter, we (including my friend's roommate) end up at this hotel bar later last night, only to be preyed upon by middle-aged dudes, all of whom were participating in some hockey tournament. I was referred to as "Pink" the entire night. We flailed around the spacious dance floor to Cindy Lauper and Madonna like the 80s prom queens we were, constantly being approached by these rhythmless dudes who bought us drinks. I can't quite recall exactly when it happened, but we found ourselves in a hotel room later on with five of these men, laughing and pigging out on Doritos. By 4am, I was making out with this one guy while my roommate made out with his buddy who resembled Ashton Kutcher in
the hallway. The guy I was with must have been at least 10 years older than me.
Suffice it to say, things did not go any further then that. I went back to my friend's home later on to crash, and it was the best sleep I've had all week. When we both woke up, we just looked at each other and started laughing. The men were old and horny, the music we danced to for the most part was top 40 crap, we looked absolutely ridiculous, and inspite of our absurd appearances, we both managed to pick up. I usually go clubbing every week-end with friends, and as much as I enjoy the hipster circuits, nothing can compare to the insane amount of fun I had last night at this hotel bar. I can't remember the last time an impulsive act turned out to be this hilarious!
So a girlfriend of mine has found a new way to amuse herself. She just registered onto ashleymadison.com, simply to satisfy her compulsive, bratty need to insult and to embarass horny old married men. For the past two days she's been talking to all sorts of colourful characters who post close-up pictures of their penises and promises of yacht rides and trips to the Bahamas. Surprisingly her unbridled sarcasm is taken mildly, it seems like some of these guys really get off on the degredation. Every time somone asks to see her pictures, she sends them to tubgirl.com. See for yourself just how lovely she is!!!
Yesterday while visiting my darling friend, she meets this one fellow who lives in the GTA and insists on taking her to a swingers club by Pearson airport. He offers to pay cover for the two of us (fee unknown at this point) and tells us to meet him at his hotel room for drinks first. So my impetuous but fairly cautious friend politely declines the hotel invitation and tells him we'll meet at him at the club later. She then runs to her closet, grabs this hideous sequined 80s taffeta fucking thing and says "I'm going to wear this, which means we have to get you one too!" Minutes later, I find myself in the change room of the nearby Value Village, trying on musty 80s abominations with frills, puffs, crinolin, you name it. I finally settled on this one silver and black prom-style dress that had crinolin lining and this weird tapered cumberbun-type thing around the waste. I looked just like an extra in Desperately Seeking Susan!
After we splurge at Value Village we head back to my friend's to continue getting ready for the big night. Neither of us have ever been to a swingers club before, and we were both feeling pretty nervous about going. We figured if we looked hideous that would lower the odds of getting hit on, so we proceed to call this fellow she met to ask about the cover. As it turns out, one night entrance fee without membership is $30 per person which was way to expensive. The fellow's offer to pay for us still stood, but we decided that putting our trust in a complete stranger who obviously expected some sexual gymnastics in return wasn't a very a good idea, so we sadly cancelled our plans.
To make a long story a bit shorter, we (including my friend's roommate) end up at this hotel bar later last night, only to be preyed upon by middle-aged dudes, all of whom were participating in some hockey tournament. I was referred to as "Pink" the entire night. We flailed around the spacious dance floor to Cindy Lauper and Madonna like the 80s prom queens we were, constantly being approached by these rhythmless dudes who bought us drinks. I can't quite recall exactly when it happened, but we found ourselves in a hotel room later on with five of these men, laughing and pigging out on Doritos. By 4am, I was making out with this one guy while my roommate made out with his buddy who resembled Ashton Kutcher in
the hallway. The guy I was with must have been at least 10 years older than me.
Suffice it to say, things did not go any further then that. I went back to my friend's home later on to crash, and it was the best sleep I've had all week. When we both woke up, we just looked at each other and started laughing. The men were old and horny, the music we danced to for the most part was top 40 crap, we looked absolutely ridiculous, and inspite of our absurd appearances, we both managed to pick up. I usually go clubbing every week-end with friends, and as much as I enjoy the hipster circuits, nothing can compare to the insane amount of fun I had last night at this hotel bar. I can't remember the last time an impulsive act turned out to be this hilarious!
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
how lovely of joe to introduce ~ especially since he thought we were both in toronto. if only. ..
i've seen you around lgbt as well ~ yr a fun poster ~ always intelligent. so, i'll see you again soon.