Hi Guys,
I've been thinking about you all, and have been wanting to reply, and have been making really lousy excuses for not getting my ass in gear and getting in touch sooner. I'm just so consumed with work and other crap these days, and constantly struggle to find the motivation to the do the things I should be doing. Please don't take offence if I haven't written you back yet. I swear your sentiments are held in high esteem, and I really do love to hear from you guys.
So the previous cryptic journal entry was about another lost job opportunity. To make a long story short, I had an interview at IMAX for a 4-6 week contract to work on Harry Potter. The interview went very, very well. The Production Manager said out of the 100+ resumes he received, I was 1 of 6 candidates called in for an interview. He was impressed with my broad range of experience and assured me that if by chance, I was not selected for this position, that he would definitely keep my resume in his personal file for future reference, as more opportunities would present themselves in due time. He also explained to me that this position became available because the previous Production Coordinator (also a woman) had to take a leave of absence. He gave me a lot of positive reinforcement and said that either way, I would be informed of a decision by the end of the week. I walked away from the interview that day believing that this could have potentially been my lucky break.
When I returned home from a make-up modelling session the Friday following the interview, there was a new message from the IMAX HR department stating that "they would not proceed with my candidacy at this time, but would keep my resume on file for future reference", because aforementioned Production Coordinator decided to magically re-appear and make herself available again. I'm not sure if she updated her status prior to or following my interview, but in any case, I couldn't help but break down and cry for about a good 20 minutes after listening to the message. I know I was being a giant baby, and shouldn't have taken it so personally but I was led to believe that I actually stood a good chance for this position merely THREE fucking days beforehand!!! It's the old leading the rabbit with a carrot on a stick shtick that really burns my ass.
Again...I know things could be 100x worse in my life, but I have been stuck working this ridiculous afternoon schedule for 3 going on four months straight now without a break, and it has affected every facet of my personal life. By the time I get home at night, I'm totally wired and find it impossible to settle for bed by 1am. On average, I don't fall asleep between 4am-6am, and because of this, I sleep in til around 1am-1:30am, noon if I'm lucky. When I finally get up, I feel too disoriented to pursue my regular actiivities like indoor climbing which I haven't done since June. My gym membership has been going to waste as I just don't have the energy or time for it. So my week days pretty much evolve around getting up, showered, changed, and taking a look at the odd job posting before heading into work. I've lost a lot of motivation to apply for jobs on a regular basis, because I hate having my entire day centered around work. There's no real excuse why my boss couldn't be more accomodating, but I finally told him early last week that I hated this schedule and that it was becoming harder and harder to deal with. He asked me if I could hold off until some current major projects were over and done with. If I'm still working at this fucking joint by the end of the month, I plan on broaching the subject again. I've really had enough. I could deal with this low-paying, shitty job better when I ran on a regular 9-5 like the rest of the world. But this schedule has become a "lifestyle" and it's just not conducive to mental, emotional, or physical health anymore. This IMAX gig would have been my ticket out of all this bullshit, the pay would have been very good, and I would have been getting the proper experience I need to advance in my career. Giant *SIGH*
Anyway, I've been trying to get in touch with a couple of other producers at two other companies for productions scheduled to begin in November, and I'm certainly not holding my breath anymore...but if by the grace of God, I am no longer where I'm at in one month's time, you guys will be among the first to know. Fingers crossed and praying.
So outside the bullshit job that derides my sprit Monday-Friday, everything else in my life is alright. I'm still spending my precious week-ends with family and friends, and have been seeing my great guy friend I mentioned a few months back more recently, who's just a rockin' presence in my life. We saw Social Distortion this past Thanksgiving Monday night here in town. I got a little too drunk a little too fast, but I was in control and was sober enough to enjoy the utter awesomeness that is Mike Ness and the gang! Have I mentioned how madly in lust I'm in with that man?!
I guess there's not too much else to report at this time. Echo and the Bunnymen are playing November 23rd which I'm uber stoked about, and there's that little MAUI trip coming up in January which I'm now counting down the days to. I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!
Luci, I promise I'll take pictures of the maple trees now that they are changing colour. They are so brilliant and beautiful at this time of season, I love the Fall!
And to the rest of you, much love!
-Leolaxo
PS: What should I be for Halloween?
I've been thinking about you all, and have been wanting to reply, and have been making really lousy excuses for not getting my ass in gear and getting in touch sooner. I'm just so consumed with work and other crap these days, and constantly struggle to find the motivation to the do the things I should be doing. Please don't take offence if I haven't written you back yet. I swear your sentiments are held in high esteem, and I really do love to hear from you guys.
So the previous cryptic journal entry was about another lost job opportunity. To make a long story short, I had an interview at IMAX for a 4-6 week contract to work on Harry Potter. The interview went very, very well. The Production Manager said out of the 100+ resumes he received, I was 1 of 6 candidates called in for an interview. He was impressed with my broad range of experience and assured me that if by chance, I was not selected for this position, that he would definitely keep my resume in his personal file for future reference, as more opportunities would present themselves in due time. He also explained to me that this position became available because the previous Production Coordinator (also a woman) had to take a leave of absence. He gave me a lot of positive reinforcement and said that either way, I would be informed of a decision by the end of the week. I walked away from the interview that day believing that this could have potentially been my lucky break.
When I returned home from a make-up modelling session the Friday following the interview, there was a new message from the IMAX HR department stating that "they would not proceed with my candidacy at this time, but would keep my resume on file for future reference", because aforementioned Production Coordinator decided to magically re-appear and make herself available again. I'm not sure if she updated her status prior to or following my interview, but in any case, I couldn't help but break down and cry for about a good 20 minutes after listening to the message. I know I was being a giant baby, and shouldn't have taken it so personally but I was led to believe that I actually stood a good chance for this position merely THREE fucking days beforehand!!! It's the old leading the rabbit with a carrot on a stick shtick that really burns my ass.
Again...I know things could be 100x worse in my life, but I have been stuck working this ridiculous afternoon schedule for 3 going on four months straight now without a break, and it has affected every facet of my personal life. By the time I get home at night, I'm totally wired and find it impossible to settle for bed by 1am. On average, I don't fall asleep between 4am-6am, and because of this, I sleep in til around 1am-1:30am, noon if I'm lucky. When I finally get up, I feel too disoriented to pursue my regular actiivities like indoor climbing which I haven't done since June. My gym membership has been going to waste as I just don't have the energy or time for it. So my week days pretty much evolve around getting up, showered, changed, and taking a look at the odd job posting before heading into work. I've lost a lot of motivation to apply for jobs on a regular basis, because I hate having my entire day centered around work. There's no real excuse why my boss couldn't be more accomodating, but I finally told him early last week that I hated this schedule and that it was becoming harder and harder to deal with. He asked me if I could hold off until some current major projects were over and done with. If I'm still working at this fucking joint by the end of the month, I plan on broaching the subject again. I've really had enough. I could deal with this low-paying, shitty job better when I ran on a regular 9-5 like the rest of the world. But this schedule has become a "lifestyle" and it's just not conducive to mental, emotional, or physical health anymore. This IMAX gig would have been my ticket out of all this bullshit, the pay would have been very good, and I would have been getting the proper experience I need to advance in my career. Giant *SIGH*
Anyway, I've been trying to get in touch with a couple of other producers at two other companies for productions scheduled to begin in November, and I'm certainly not holding my breath anymore...but if by the grace of God, I am no longer where I'm at in one month's time, you guys will be among the first to know. Fingers crossed and praying.
So outside the bullshit job that derides my sprit Monday-Friday, everything else in my life is alright. I'm still spending my precious week-ends with family and friends, and have been seeing my great guy friend I mentioned a few months back more recently, who's just a rockin' presence in my life. We saw Social Distortion this past Thanksgiving Monday night here in town. I got a little too drunk a little too fast, but I was in control and was sober enough to enjoy the utter awesomeness that is Mike Ness and the gang! Have I mentioned how madly in lust I'm in with that man?!
I guess there's not too much else to report at this time. Echo and the Bunnymen are playing November 23rd which I'm uber stoked about, and there's that little MAUI trip coming up in January which I'm now counting down the days to. I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!
Luci, I promise I'll take pictures of the maple trees now that they are changing colour. They are so brilliant and beautiful at this time of season, I love the Fall!
And to the rest of you, much love!
-Leolaxo
PS: What should I be for Halloween?
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Count Emma girl says: Have a happy Halloween