This update...is disgusting. I'm having a very immature sort of day, and thought I'd share a little toilet humour/ranting with you. 
*Part 1*
Have you ever been in a public restroom, doing your business, when you hear someone in the other stall taking a very noisy, painful-sounding crap? And it's all you can do to not let the 5-year-old inner child in you start laughing like a maniac? Today I got yelled at by some old lady because I let a little giggle slip out after she cursed loudly while straining on the toilet.
*Part 2*
How do blind people know they're done wiping after a crap?
*Part 3*
Ladies, germs are NOT going to get you if you sit on the seat. You know how germs get on the seat? By you pissing all over it by doing that stupid-ass "hover squat" over the bowl. That's disgusting, okay? Just stop. If I find ya, I'm gonna beat ya.
If you still think you must do it, then wipe up afterwards. Remember kindergarten: if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Or how about just lifting the seat, since you're not sitting on it anyway?
I suppose it doesn't matter anyway, as the joke will be on you in the end--squatting prevents you from fully emptying your bladder, which causes bladder infections, which could migrate to your kidney and make you DIE.
So HA!
+++
Please pardon the crass humour. I'm trying to distract myself. On a MUCH more serious note, I hope that any of you in the UK have not suffered losses in the bombings. If you have, my thoughts are with you--anything I can say right now will probably sound trite and hackneyed. Right now, I have still not heard from a dear friend of mine, and I am worried sick. If you have seen this man below, please comment to me and let me know. It's the longest of long shots, but I can't sit here idly on my hands...
His name is Steven Hunt. The lady in the picture with him is his girlfriend, Carla. I do not know her last name. If you have seen these people, please let me know.
'Night, folks. Take good care of yourselves.
*Part 1*
Have you ever been in a public restroom, doing your business, when you hear someone in the other stall taking a very noisy, painful-sounding crap? And it's all you can do to not let the 5-year-old inner child in you start laughing like a maniac? Today I got yelled at by some old lady because I let a little giggle slip out after she cursed loudly while straining on the toilet.
*Part 2*
How do blind people know they're done wiping after a crap?
*Part 3*
Ladies, germs are NOT going to get you if you sit on the seat. You know how germs get on the seat? By you pissing all over it by doing that stupid-ass "hover squat" over the bowl. That's disgusting, okay? Just stop. If I find ya, I'm gonna beat ya.
If you still think you must do it, then wipe up afterwards. Remember kindergarten: if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Or how about just lifting the seat, since you're not sitting on it anyway?
I suppose it doesn't matter anyway, as the joke will be on you in the end--squatting prevents you from fully emptying your bladder, which causes bladder infections, which could migrate to your kidney and make you DIE.
So HA!
+++
Please pardon the crass humour. I'm trying to distract myself. On a MUCH more serious note, I hope that any of you in the UK have not suffered losses in the bombings. If you have, my thoughts are with you--anything I can say right now will probably sound trite and hackneyed. Right now, I have still not heard from a dear friend of mine, and I am worried sick. If you have seen this man below, please comment to me and let me know. It's the longest of long shots, but I can't sit here idly on my hands...
His name is Steven Hunt. The lady in the picture with him is his girlfriend, Carla. I do not know her last name. If you have seen these people, please let me know.
'Night, folks. Take good care of yourselves.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
kinkerbelle:
what are you doing this weekend?
acidevangelist:
* part 2 explained * - this is THE most important responsibility of the seeing-eye dog. 1 bark for DONE, 2 barks for KEEP WIPING.