I've been feeling weird this last week, I keep starting entries and deleting them as being nonsensical or predictably grandiose.
A week without stories seems like a week wasted. I mean I could tell the story of going to the grocery store with a friend with verve and pizazz that would have them rolling in the aisles.. but what it boils down to is that it wasn't a story to me.
I realized when I was at a party the other night other people have begun mythologizing my life .. very strange when someone starts telling a story about you and although it has elements of truth to it, it doesn't feel true at all. My old roommate's girlfriend invited me out and started telling everyone that I'm practically sleeping with a new girl every 2 days or something, which is far from the case. Admittedly I am charming, and have went out with people, but it made everything feel cheap and common.
I mean although I don't fall in love easily, I've never identified myself as being or had an interest in becoming a polyamorist or anything of that nature. I'd be quite happy to fall for someone so hard I'd just want to tear them apart in an all-consuming cannibalistic Penthesilea kind of way. But I never meet the person, so one must settle for dalliances. But it's the different between candy and a three course meal. In the last while I've been called everything from the "Marquis de Sade" (coworker) to a "gentlemen seducer" (friend) to a "danger to women" (friend).
So I may do a strategic retreat into cuisine, exercise, sitting practice, and adventures of a non-romantic nature.
A week without stories seems like a week wasted. I mean I could tell the story of going to the grocery store with a friend with verve and pizazz that would have them rolling in the aisles.. but what it boils down to is that it wasn't a story to me.
I realized when I was at a party the other night other people have begun mythologizing my life .. very strange when someone starts telling a story about you and although it has elements of truth to it, it doesn't feel true at all. My old roommate's girlfriend invited me out and started telling everyone that I'm practically sleeping with a new girl every 2 days or something, which is far from the case. Admittedly I am charming, and have went out with people, but it made everything feel cheap and common.
I mean although I don't fall in love easily, I've never identified myself as being or had an interest in becoming a polyamorist or anything of that nature. I'd be quite happy to fall for someone so hard I'd just want to tear them apart in an all-consuming cannibalistic Penthesilea kind of way. But I never meet the person, so one must settle for dalliances. But it's the different between candy and a three course meal. In the last while I've been called everything from the "Marquis de Sade" (coworker) to a "gentlemen seducer" (friend) to a "danger to women" (friend).
So I may do a strategic retreat into cuisine, exercise, sitting practice, and adventures of a non-romantic nature.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
serillian:
sounds like a good idea!! send to serillian69@hotmail.com Thanks!
severus:
I'm glad you think so. He's very... stylish compared to all the thrashy punk dudes I've seen around, or out of shape I don't care to shave or fix my hair guys and he got this amazing product he uses on his lips so they are SUPER SOFT, he just got a lot of bonus points with me... oh and yes he happens to be my best s ex match ever and he'll be here all next month and so on. So... fun times coming up! I'll tell him what you said. That will make him blush. He doesn't think he's something special. Well, I do.