Normally I'm kind of a grump about these kind of things and refuse in a friendly fashion, but since Faye is a sweetheart, I'm making an acception to participating in a silly internet meme wherein I must divulge 20 interesting facts about myself.
Let us see.
1. As a boy I owned a pony. He was grey and his name was Rocky. He bucked me off several times (once quite painfully into a gravel ditch) and I was no longer interested in ponies. Although years later I would use this fact to taunt 'princess' type girls in my high school who wished they rode unicorns and wore conical hats. They would say in an incredible passive agressive condescending fashion that "I didn't deserve a pony and they would have loved it oh so much more than I could ever dream of."
2. I grew up in a small "hick" town and for a period of time lived in a trailer park.
3. I once met Princess Margriet of the Netherlands on an official diplomatic mission for the Canadian government.
4. I was once voted by the children's assembly at a United Nations meeting in New York to be the children's representative for North America in a discussion on children's rights with the Secretary General of the United Nations and the head of UNICEF.
5. I worked in a lumber mill where I was replacing a man who'd worked there for 15 years and lost his job from having his arm severed in a conveyor belt accident.
6. Every member of my immediate family, except myself, has a relatively serious form of disability. Every member of my immediate family, including myself, is left-handed.
7. I've only been fired once, at my very first job at a megacorporate movie chain from having too heartily applied some of the principles from Abbie Hoffman's legendary yippie tract - STEAL THIS BOOK.
8. Some of my illustrious friends that I grew up with have went on to some impressive futures including : convicted murderer (imprisoned), heroin/crystal meth addict, and cult member.
9. I grew up having no sense of fashion or style, and now I'm a total clothes horse with dozens of jackets, sunglasses, and pairs of shoes.
10. The most in love with anyone I've been in my entire life was a girl named Marissa. She had freckles, a wonderful smile, and was incredibly smart. The crush went from a period starting in the 2nd grade and ending in the 10th grade (she'd moved to another city in the 7th grade). In the 3rd grade she was reading up extensively on the Holocaust and I on the American Civil Rights movment, specifically Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and Rosa Parks. I remember quite clearly a talk we once had.. I was explaining career trajectory of Malcolm X (I'd received his autobiography in my Easter basket) and she was explaining the plight of Anne Frank under Nazi occupation. That was in the 3rd grade. I still miss her from time to time, I heard through the grapevine she had a child when she was 17.
11. My mother used to read to me extensively when I was a child to ease me into sleep. The first book I ever read was a year prior to entering kindergarden, my Mom started reading it to me, but halfway through I finished it. It was a Nancy Drew mystery titled "the Secret to Red Gate Farm."
12. The first piece of recorded music I ever owned was a Beatles Greatest Hits Vol. 2 tape (early period stuff).. I wore out three of them in my remarkably durable yellow walkman.
13. As a very young boy I used to hide in cupboards and proclaim that my name was, in fact, Robert Cobbert. (due to that funny way of speaking it remains a mystery as to whether I was saying "cupboard" in a youthfully mispronounced way or merely selected a surname that rhymed).
14. When my parents went away on a little getaway or romantic dinner I would always force my babysitter to help me make sugar cookies with sprinkles, some of which I would eat, and some of which I would hide.. the hidden ones were delivered to my parents the following morning.
15. The two most invigoratingly erotic films I've ever seen are Crash by David Cronenburg and Beau Travail by Claire Denis. Death in Venice by Visconti, rates a close third.
16. My father was a hunter and our barn would often be filled with the bleeding corpses of moose, dear, bear, and the like when I was growing up.
17. When I was a boy my father took me in to Kim's Sporting Goods to buy me my first pair of skates so that he could teach me how to skate in traditional father/son manner. Once in the store, I staunchly refused stating "I don't want to learn how to skate!" .. I still can't skate to this day, but recently I've been wanting to learn.
18. My mom is incredibly talented in stained glass and textile arts and as part of a family project cross stiched us each beautiful Christmas stockings. Since my mother is an incredibly thoughtful woman she consulted us each on the kind of X-mas design we'd like on our stocking, so that we'd also love our stockings. Most
of the family opted for the traditional look.. true to form.. I however .. did not. (photos below) I still love mine.
19. I ran for Mayor of Victoria a few years ago, and placed 3rd out of seven candidates, the total expenditure of my campaign being a mere $107.00 .
20. The way I see/dream the world can be found in the literary works of William S. Burroughs. My SG user name.. is Lemonkid.. which is the title of a chapter in his book Exterminator!. My original SG name (as some may remember) was thelemonkid, but people kept thinking it was related to emo kid or kept asking me what a thelemon was.. so I changed it to the shorter and more aesthetically pleasing "Lemonkid." Here's a quote from the chapter:
the Lemon Kid
"OH SAY CAN YOU..."
He pops the deadly lemon into his mouth and lisps through it...
"THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
The orchestra disintegrates in sour notes and pathetic screeches from the horns. Now he turns to the singing audience and shoves his lemon in every bellowing mouth. He spits out the lemon strips off his raccoon coat and stands naked with a hard-on. A cry of strangled rage bursts from the crowd screaming clawing slipping on their spit to get at him as he drops on all fours smiling his back teeth bare and ejaculates canines tear through his bleeding gums stretching his face to a snout red hair ripples down his back into a bushy red tail laps his lean flanks leaner crinkles and shrinks his balls squeezing jets of sperm from his red pointed phallus quivering teeth bare his eyes light up bright lemon yellow and nitrous fumes steam off his body a reek of burning film and animal musk. He leaps through an invisible window and disappears into the 1920 night with a distant sour train whistle.
When the Kid puts the lemon on you you are through in show biz. Time to retire. Get half a sucked lemon spit out on the ground as he smiles all his teeth at you and skitters away across a distant sky.
Let us see.
1. As a boy I owned a pony. He was grey and his name was Rocky. He bucked me off several times (once quite painfully into a gravel ditch) and I was no longer interested in ponies. Although years later I would use this fact to taunt 'princess' type girls in my high school who wished they rode unicorns and wore conical hats. They would say in an incredible passive agressive condescending fashion that "I didn't deserve a pony and they would have loved it oh so much more than I could ever dream of."
2. I grew up in a small "hick" town and for a period of time lived in a trailer park.
3. I once met Princess Margriet of the Netherlands on an official diplomatic mission for the Canadian government.
4. I was once voted by the children's assembly at a United Nations meeting in New York to be the children's representative for North America in a discussion on children's rights with the Secretary General of the United Nations and the head of UNICEF.
5. I worked in a lumber mill where I was replacing a man who'd worked there for 15 years and lost his job from having his arm severed in a conveyor belt accident.
6. Every member of my immediate family, except myself, has a relatively serious form of disability. Every member of my immediate family, including myself, is left-handed.
7. I've only been fired once, at my very first job at a megacorporate movie chain from having too heartily applied some of the principles from Abbie Hoffman's legendary yippie tract - STEAL THIS BOOK.
8. Some of my illustrious friends that I grew up with have went on to some impressive futures including : convicted murderer (imprisoned), heroin/crystal meth addict, and cult member.
9. I grew up having no sense of fashion or style, and now I'm a total clothes horse with dozens of jackets, sunglasses, and pairs of shoes.
10. The most in love with anyone I've been in my entire life was a girl named Marissa. She had freckles, a wonderful smile, and was incredibly smart. The crush went from a period starting in the 2nd grade and ending in the 10th grade (she'd moved to another city in the 7th grade). In the 3rd grade she was reading up extensively on the Holocaust and I on the American Civil Rights movment, specifically Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and Rosa Parks. I remember quite clearly a talk we once had.. I was explaining career trajectory of Malcolm X (I'd received his autobiography in my Easter basket) and she was explaining the plight of Anne Frank under Nazi occupation. That was in the 3rd grade. I still miss her from time to time, I heard through the grapevine she had a child when she was 17.
11. My mother used to read to me extensively when I was a child to ease me into sleep. The first book I ever read was a year prior to entering kindergarden, my Mom started reading it to me, but halfway through I finished it. It was a Nancy Drew mystery titled "the Secret to Red Gate Farm."
12. The first piece of recorded music I ever owned was a Beatles Greatest Hits Vol. 2 tape (early period stuff).. I wore out three of them in my remarkably durable yellow walkman.
13. As a very young boy I used to hide in cupboards and proclaim that my name was, in fact, Robert Cobbert. (due to that funny way of speaking it remains a mystery as to whether I was saying "cupboard" in a youthfully mispronounced way or merely selected a surname that rhymed).
14. When my parents went away on a little getaway or romantic dinner I would always force my babysitter to help me make sugar cookies with sprinkles, some of which I would eat, and some of which I would hide.. the hidden ones were delivered to my parents the following morning.
15. The two most invigoratingly erotic films I've ever seen are Crash by David Cronenburg and Beau Travail by Claire Denis. Death in Venice by Visconti, rates a close third.
16. My father was a hunter and our barn would often be filled with the bleeding corpses of moose, dear, bear, and the like when I was growing up.
17. When I was a boy my father took me in to Kim's Sporting Goods to buy me my first pair of skates so that he could teach me how to skate in traditional father/son manner. Once in the store, I staunchly refused stating "I don't want to learn how to skate!" .. I still can't skate to this day, but recently I've been wanting to learn.
18. My mom is incredibly talented in stained glass and textile arts and as part of a family project cross stiched us each beautiful Christmas stockings. Since my mother is an incredibly thoughtful woman she consulted us each on the kind of X-mas design we'd like on our stocking, so that we'd also love our stockings. Most
of the family opted for the traditional look.. true to form.. I however .. did not. (photos below) I still love mine.
19. I ran for Mayor of Victoria a few years ago, and placed 3rd out of seven candidates, the total expenditure of my campaign being a mere $107.00 .
20. The way I see/dream the world can be found in the literary works of William S. Burroughs. My SG user name.. is Lemonkid.. which is the title of a chapter in his book Exterminator!. My original SG name (as some may remember) was thelemonkid, but people kept thinking it was related to emo kid or kept asking me what a thelemon was.. so I changed it to the shorter and more aesthetically pleasing "Lemonkid." Here's a quote from the chapter:
the Lemon Kid
"OH SAY CAN YOU..."
He pops the deadly lemon into his mouth and lisps through it...
"THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
The orchestra disintegrates in sour notes and pathetic screeches from the horns. Now he turns to the singing audience and shoves his lemon in every bellowing mouth. He spits out the lemon strips off his raccoon coat and stands naked with a hard-on. A cry of strangled rage bursts from the crowd screaming clawing slipping on their spit to get at him as he drops on all fours smiling his back teeth bare and ejaculates canines tear through his bleeding gums stretching his face to a snout red hair ripples down his back into a bushy red tail laps his lean flanks leaner crinkles and shrinks his balls squeezing jets of sperm from his red pointed phallus quivering teeth bare his eyes light up bright lemon yellow and nitrous fumes steam off his body a reek of burning film and animal musk. He leaps through an invisible window and disappears into the 1920 night with a distant sour train whistle.
When the Kid puts the lemon on you you are through in show biz. Time to retire. Get half a sucked lemon spit out on the ground as he smiles all his teeth at you and skitters away across a distant sky.
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