lefthandright

Tomswhatsitcalled,
You woke up smiling this morning didn't you....thats because i dumped my girl friend.....yeap...single again....and loving it.

To Mswhatsititcalled,...
tonig it me...i had a moment of where suddenly it all made sense...the secret to life revealed itself to me...in that moment i almost felt like crying with joy and happiness....the only way i can describe it is this...there is no way to describe it...but you can see it in a childs smile. It is the simplest pleasures in life...walking in long grass,...
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ToMswhatsitcalled,....
I (David) have an addictive personalty....people meet me and become addicted to me...a couple doses of me and ppl find an hour after waking up they want me....before they go to bed they want me....when at work and their bosses aren't looking...they want me.....you have been warned....use me only as prescribed.

LOOGY, n; (lew-gey) A form of winter congestion that is a combination of sniffles and throat oysters. Often refered to as 'The dreaded loogy'

ToMsWhatsitcalled.

Today children wer are going to discuss the nature of conjoint emotions. Did someone never tell you this?that emotions are actually conjoint...they never told me either,...it has taken me 30 years to learn this. The longest i have ever taken to learn a lesson. (apart from not peeing on the toiet seat...some tuimes after a great night out,..afew drinks..a little stumbly...It happens only rarely,...
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To Mswhatsitcalled,...
I went into an electronics store today...i had an enquiry. Once i had explained myself the retail clerk suggested what i needed for my computer was a "usb dick smith dongo."


Is it only me?or did he just say 'dongo'?

ToMsWhatsitcalled,..
I have pinched as nerve in my back....until it has healed i find it painful to fuck.

The secret language of me:

going out means that iam coming out to see you..the term 'date' implies i suspect there maybe sex at the end of it.

would you like to hang out and have 'tea' means that i am interested in trying to seduce you in private.

maybe means maybe...perhaps means I could be convinced...if the persuasion is good.

your very attractive means...
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Ok fuckers,...here i go...I am asking the big questions...only people with 5 foot of cock would dare answer these

1) Penis flavoured flavoured cola..would you take a sip just out of curiousity?
2)who would you rather have on your side in a figh?Dirty harry or 007?
3)Who would you throw your knickers at...elvis or the beattles?
$)celebrity death match, who would win...clint eastwood or sean...
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I wish my dick were brains. If they were i would be considerably smarter.