leelou_

i thought i had something profound to say but rather im tongue tied
my thoughts keep twisting in my head and i just dont know what to say anymore
finding a job is like pulling teeth if you dont look like miss america

im at a loss of what to say about this word now a days
how hard things are
how easy some things are its all just a jumble of good and bad and easy and hard

like everyone these days needs an intervention to open their eyes.
its crazy to think about what you need and what you want
my list of wants have never come close to being met but my needs still go unmoved
i have to chose a few things from my needs every time i need something
never a want

my fun comes out of modeling here i feel a pride in myself i hadnt felt in a long time
a pride in feeling beautiful and sexy without someone seeing something that needs to be fixed on me
and thats what suicide girls started out to be, i hope it can regain some of that back but i still see some of that in it which is why i still try to become one of the girls that i use to adore