Here is something I just don't get. I told a joke today and had someone point out a flaw in the makeup of the joke, but completely overlooked something even more obvious. It went like this:
A guy decides one day that he is going to bear hunting, so he takes his rifle into the woods, spreads some food around the base of a tree, gets up in his tree stand and waits. After a little while he hears, then sees a black bear walking towards the bait. As the bear noses around and starts eating the food, the man shoots the bear. The injured bear runs off into the woods. The man gives the bear about 30 minutes to die in peace, as is the standard practice in hunting, then climbs down, finds the blood trail and starts tracking the bear. Eventually he finds the bear, and as he takes in the beauty of the mighty animal, he hears a rustling in the brush behind him and turns around to find himself face to face with a large grizzly bear. As the man stood trembling with fear, the bear reared up on it's hind legs and took a deep breath. Expecting a mighty roar, the man was surprised when the bear looked at him and spoke. He said,"Bob, I'm going to give you 2 choices. I can maul you within an inch of your life, then eat you alive, or I can take you as my mate for 1 hour and let you go." The man, Bob, thought about this and considered his wife and children and made his decision. As he lay in the woods recovering from the fierce brutality he endured, and as he made his way back to his truck, he began to plot his revenge. He vowed to return to those woods, hunt down that grizzly, and see to it that it suffered a slow, painful death.
One month later, he did just that, and as he stood over and spat on the slowly dying bear, he heard a rustling in the brush behind him, and turned to see a Kodiak bear standing before him. The same 2 options were given, and the whole scenario played itself out again.
He returned to the woods and exacted his revenge on the big Kodiak bear, and, as both times before, heard a rustling in the brush behind him. Knowing to expect the worst, he was still shocked to turn and see a massive polar bear standing before him. It's massive teeth shining in the sun as he towered over him. This bear was 12 feet tall if it was an inch. As the bear took it's deep breath to speak, a trickle of piss began to run down the man's leg, darkening the front of his ScentBlocker camo pants. He had lived through this twice before and the second time nearly killed him. The 27 stitches in and around his anus taking nearly as long to heal as his pride. He didn't believe he could handle an animal this big. But as the beast began to speak, it was different. The bear leaned over, got eye to eye with the man and said,"You don't come out here to the woods for the huntin' do ya Bob?"
my buddy looked me in the eyes and told me that could never happen because those types of bears don't share the same habitat.
I guess the fact that the bears could talk was something he could overlook.
A guy decides one day that he is going to bear hunting, so he takes his rifle into the woods, spreads some food around the base of a tree, gets up in his tree stand and waits. After a little while he hears, then sees a black bear walking towards the bait. As the bear noses around and starts eating the food, the man shoots the bear. The injured bear runs off into the woods. The man gives the bear about 30 minutes to die in peace, as is the standard practice in hunting, then climbs down, finds the blood trail and starts tracking the bear. Eventually he finds the bear, and as he takes in the beauty of the mighty animal, he hears a rustling in the brush behind him and turns around to find himself face to face with a large grizzly bear. As the man stood trembling with fear, the bear reared up on it's hind legs and took a deep breath. Expecting a mighty roar, the man was surprised when the bear looked at him and spoke. He said,"Bob, I'm going to give you 2 choices. I can maul you within an inch of your life, then eat you alive, or I can take you as my mate for 1 hour and let you go." The man, Bob, thought about this and considered his wife and children and made his decision. As he lay in the woods recovering from the fierce brutality he endured, and as he made his way back to his truck, he began to plot his revenge. He vowed to return to those woods, hunt down that grizzly, and see to it that it suffered a slow, painful death.
One month later, he did just that, and as he stood over and spat on the slowly dying bear, he heard a rustling in the brush behind him, and turned to see a Kodiak bear standing before him. The same 2 options were given, and the whole scenario played itself out again.
He returned to the woods and exacted his revenge on the big Kodiak bear, and, as both times before, heard a rustling in the brush behind him. Knowing to expect the worst, he was still shocked to turn and see a massive polar bear standing before him. It's massive teeth shining in the sun as he towered over him. This bear was 12 feet tall if it was an inch. As the bear took it's deep breath to speak, a trickle of piss began to run down the man's leg, darkening the front of his ScentBlocker camo pants. He had lived through this twice before and the second time nearly killed him. The 27 stitches in and around his anus taking nearly as long to heal as his pride. He didn't believe he could handle an animal this big. But as the beast began to speak, it was different. The bear leaned over, got eye to eye with the man and said,"You don't come out here to the woods for the huntin' do ya Bob?"
my buddy looked me in the eyes and told me that could never happen because those types of bears don't share the same habitat.
I guess the fact that the bears could talk was something he could overlook.
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my buddy looked me in the eyes and told me that could never happen because those types of bears don't share the same habitat.
I guess the fact that the bears could talk was something he could overlook.
hahahahahahahahahahaha