Sometimes i feel like i am not good enough for anyone.....but i know i am, i give so much....and the return is as simple as seeing someone happy....i just try to give...i think that im scared to fuck up so bad that i dont take risks.....i want to be with her so bad...sometimes i feel like if she gets scared or i do 1 thing wrong that she will leave me....so i dont take that risk....when i ask her why she is depressed and she answers "what do i have to NOT be depressed about" i just want to scream US!!!! ME !! YOU!!! i love you....why does that depress you.....i worry to much.....i dont know why....she wont hurt me....but will i hurt myself....when we are toghter we are amazing.....i see so much in her......im not scared....not of this....maybe of other things but not this....as she lays next to me right now i wonder why she is so sad......she has a family who takes care of her....she has me...she is going to school.....so maybe im not good enough.....im not perfect....but i need to be is how i think and that is what makes me feel like im not good enough....im a 27 year old fat DJ who sometimes still needs to be reasured that someone who obviously loves me still does....maybe im scared....scared of losing not only her but everything....i dont need to be.....things that will happen..happen and i cant control that...i want her to be ok......i want US to be always ok....i will sacrifice to make sure she wont have to......is that the right mind set.....or am i just still striving to be good enough for her........i cant settle....i always want to surprise her.....i always want to make her go "wow he never ceses to amaze me"...i cant slow down....if i have a bad day i keep that to myself...i have to be her rock...her foundation...i have to be that glue......and i have to be happy...i love her...and that is what makes me happy.......i have my job...that is great..i have friends...i miss some of my friends in cleveland...and i miss my family...but i have the escentionals.....now i just need to make her know what love is.......and that is what can give ...i will always be myself...NO ONE will change that...THAT is who she fell in love with.....dont be sad baby...i will make it ok.....and things will work out and that is NOT bullshit that is the truth....the fucking truth..and that is all we have..is being true ....love makes you do crazy things......but it should never make you unhappy...and i know that is not what is wrong but it is whats Right...............
kombucha:
aww man you sound so luvly
toads:
I hear that man, depression is a hard thing to deal with, and the best thing to help her through it is you being there for her and reminding her how wonderful she is and how awesome you feel that she is with you.