"Where is my mind?"....
ahhhh yes... it's been so long since I've felt that old familiar combination of stress, yet intellectual exhileration, that can only be labeled as a "return to academia"... shit, am I tired... not used to getting up this early and having to perform intellectually on demand...
NTP + ADD ==> nearly having a nervous breakdown trying to juggle all these critical decisions about my current and future academic plan(s); if there's one thing I'm consistently plagued by, it's an overwhelming anxiety about limiting my options and/or wasting effort... but of course, actually landing a useful appointment with the "uber-accessible" Bureacracy of Academic Advising is about as "effortless" as my attempt to both make and keep a decision...
NTP + Anxiety ==> an impending lapse into what might possibly be the sprouts of a mild form of agorophobia; a little social anxiety is normal for me, but the other night during a lecture, the paranoid delusion of being watched and scrutinized by my peers (I was late, so the only available seat was at the very front of the class) was so intense I spent the entire 3 hours sweating and compulsively fidgeting, until I literally felt a bit dizzy, effectively destroying any ability to concentrate or pay attention; arguably the most terrifying 3 hours I've had in a while
...perhaps it's time to visit the local mental health facility? maybe medication?...
but fear not, all is not lost... there IS a potentially happy ending...
NTP + intellectual stimulation ==> feeling more productive and hopeful about my future than I have in YEARS... the solution to my chronic rut?... quite possibly.... YAY!!!
***P.S.: been listening to a lot of D.K. lately.... did I mention Jello Biafra is the shiznit?!?!?! Fo-shizzle...
ahhhh yes... it's been so long since I've felt that old familiar combination of stress, yet intellectual exhileration, that can only be labeled as a "return to academia"... shit, am I tired... not used to getting up this early and having to perform intellectually on demand...
NTP + ADD ==> nearly having a nervous breakdown trying to juggle all these critical decisions about my current and future academic plan(s); if there's one thing I'm consistently plagued by, it's an overwhelming anxiety about limiting my options and/or wasting effort... but of course, actually landing a useful appointment with the "uber-accessible" Bureacracy of Academic Advising is about as "effortless" as my attempt to both make and keep a decision...
NTP + Anxiety ==> an impending lapse into what might possibly be the sprouts of a mild form of agorophobia; a little social anxiety is normal for me, but the other night during a lecture, the paranoid delusion of being watched and scrutinized by my peers (I was late, so the only available seat was at the very front of the class) was so intense I spent the entire 3 hours sweating and compulsively fidgeting, until I literally felt a bit dizzy, effectively destroying any ability to concentrate or pay attention; arguably the most terrifying 3 hours I've had in a while
...perhaps it's time to visit the local mental health facility? maybe medication?...
but fear not, all is not lost... there IS a potentially happy ending...
NTP + intellectual stimulation ==> feeling more productive and hopeful about my future than I have in YEARS... the solution to my chronic rut?... quite possibly.... YAY!!!
***P.S.: been listening to a lot of D.K. lately.... did I mention Jello Biafra is the shiznit?!?!?! Fo-shizzle...
kirin_ka:
Wow. That is heavy. Atleast there is light at the end of the tunnel. Intellectual stimulation is always a great thing. Too bad I rarely get it. Anyways, good to see that you are popping into the SG world every now and again. If you want, there is this kick ass potluck this Saturday. You would be on my way, so I could pick you up if need be. But then again, I don't think you are really into meeting folks off the site. That is understandable though, if I were you, I wouldn't meet us either. Umm...foshizzle on the rizzle. Word.