What inspired you to become a SuicideGirl? by Lavish_

Well, as I'm still on my Hopeful journey to becoming an official SG here's my reason as to why I started.

Even though I should be sleeping because I have to be up at 4 am for class tomorrow. Whatevs.

I've mentioned this slightly in past blogs, but now I will explain, in chronological order if you will, how/why I got interested in becoming a SuicideGirl.

For years I wanted to model. I just could never quite tell where I would fit in, in the fashion industry. I had no idea there was such a thing as "alternative modeling" SO I conformed. I changed my style and acted like I didn't like weird music or movies or everything for that matter and I tried being a part of the mainstream/high end fashion industry. Obviously, it wasn't working. Something felt off and I wasn't fulfilling my deepest passions.

Until, I made and became active on tumblr. I started seeing these beautiful girls and women who were real and interesting. They were incredible. i wanted to be confident enough to have there style without caring what others thought. I wanted to be confident enough to pose in front of a camera the way they did and most of all I wanted to be surrounded by incredible women just like them. When I finally found out that these women I was discovering were "SuicideGirls" I became obssessed with finding more of them. I had no idea it was an actual website and movement. I just thought it was this awesome online trend of beautiful, nude, pin up girls. Then I started dating a guy who was in love with @radeo (which who isn't?!) At the time it made me SO jealous, not only because my boyfriend at the time was obssessed, but also because I wished I had the confidence to be such a gorgeous empowered woman like her.

So from that point on it stayed in the back of my mind for a few months. It wasn't until I discovered @gogo my tattooed doppleganger that I realized, I really need to at least try to get where these girls for the sake of my own well being because if I don't it will be my biggest regret. After, discovering Gogo and hearing more about SuicideGirls from my guy friends I started to do some research. Here's where I became truly obsessed with the sort of culture if you will of SuicideGirls, the girls, and then finally the actual website. I started watching documentaries and videos of when SG first started, and before I knew it I was on my friends account everyday checking out the sets of the day and girls profiles.

What gave me the final push in starting my journey to becoming a SuicideGirl was joining the site with my own membership. I would go on everyday and get more and more inspired as time passed. I wanted to get over all those years of being self conscious and suppressing my "weird" tastes. I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin more than anything. I got tired of putting on an act and hiding who I was everyday. With each set I clicked through the more empowered I became. These women, with personalities so strong, so intellectual, so interesting, gave me the courage to be myself. They showed me what it was like to live. And once I got a taste I couldn't get enough.

Now I'm here a year after starting my journey, crazy obsessed with this community, the girls, the lifestyle, and building myself up everyday. And you know what I'm damn fucking proud of it all! I'm proud of myself and every one of you that made SG what it is today.

So that, was my long, messy explanation of why I get nakey and stuffs.

Now here's a spam of photos I took today for manic monday inspired by the SG logo.