lavinia

Last night I was at the SGBC event. It was fun. I liked every one I met and it was also nice to see familiar faces (I have been to SG functions in the past but I wasn't a member on the site). I didn't drink very much so no disasters occured. Which in my book is a huge plus.

Cheers to the guys from Saskatoon that came.

I now have some new groups to join and new journals to read.


In other news well I have to give CJ some time. People need time to lick their wounds. I guess I haven't given him a chance to let his origional wound heal. I'm still going to be there for him because I still really like and care about him.

Deep inside I know he has feelings for me but this isn't the right time for him. I knew that (this wan't the right time) already when I got involved and guess it started to bother me. I would supress that feeling of sadness when he would step back. Sometimes I felt really close to him and other times I would feel so far away. I would tell him and myself that it was alright but, my heart was telling another story.

I think that is 'one" of the reasons why I have been going into such a dark place when I have been drinking. When I supress what is deep inside (which I have been known to do) I have a tendency to drink and then when the time comes I will explode.

CJ means a lot to me. His frienship is an extremely important part of my life. I have learned so much from him in so many ways. I just have to put these lessons into practice. And do some work on my self.