lavinia

Up-date fom this morning.

I called CJ while I was at work. He answered his phone and I began to appologise and appologise. He said it was o.k.. I told him that I blacked out and he understood. He told me that I said some pretty horrible things to him. He said that he wants to talk to me but he doesn't know when.

I am going to give him his space. I'm not going to bug him. I want him to talk to me when he is ready to.

Right now I am in tears because I said hurtful things to someone who has given me respect and compassion.
Being "drunk" isn't an excuse for being a complete asshole to someone you care about and trust.

I have to really look at my drinking patterns and change them. I may have to quit drinking altogether just so this won't happen again.

I hope he speaks to me soon.

I brought this up-on myself and I deserve to be shunned.