Bear with me while I rant here. It's just been building up inside of me for weeks and weeks...it's disorganized and whatever.
i just dont know if i want to do it anymore.
i feel like it's because i feel that because i'm black and i don't have those white features that everyone is looking for, i don't qualifty to become a model for anything/anyone. that's how i feel, i don't know. i just feel like giving up and saying fuck it. do you have to be white to compete in this industry, not necessarily, but you might want to have cheekbones or that thin nose or that height or those light eyes.
i watched an old thing from ANTM and there was this beautiful indian girl who wore blue contacts. she basically explained to tyra and the panel why she wore them, that in indian and the states, lighter skin and lighter eyes are percieved as beautiful. she's right, i mean look around you and that's all you see on mags, t.v, everywhere. the lighter the better. but throughout antm, she photographed without them and her dark eyes were stunning, even tyra pointed them out and asked her what she thought of the pics now with her dark eyes.
there was another episode where tyra had the models do different model stereotypes and one black chick had to do "the black model who turns white". she wore blonde, blonde extensions, wore blue contacts and had on pink lipstick. tyra was commenting on how black girls come into the industry and just go "white." i say some...just some.
i think i only watch antm now just to see the black girls, just to see what....hope? maybe to see someone with something similar to me make it at least and to hear tyra's views and experience. also to see skinny, smaller chested girls make it. it gives me some hope sometimes. i just don't know. i had to let it out.
mm is too full of busty, bimbo looking women that people only go and seem to view or comment on just because they're naked. it's gross to me. you shouldn't have to look like the Maxim...no Playboy/Hustler covergirl in MM. jesus.
no more pics of me with blue/turquoise eyes. i'll wear them, but not for pictures.
i think i'm more inspired to do a shoot to show what's wrong with the industry from wearing one blue contact, to having my boobs bandaged, my nose bandaged, my waist cinched, to having half of my face done with light, non matching foundations to ridiculously long hair....basically stating that i better get cosmetic surgery done to fit in. change myself just to fit in and be aesthetically pleasing to everyone just to be "beautiful."
i just dont know if i want to do it anymore.
i feel like it's because i feel that because i'm black and i don't have those white features that everyone is looking for, i don't qualifty to become a model for anything/anyone. that's how i feel, i don't know. i just feel like giving up and saying fuck it. do you have to be white to compete in this industry, not necessarily, but you might want to have cheekbones or that thin nose or that height or those light eyes.
i watched an old thing from ANTM and there was this beautiful indian girl who wore blue contacts. she basically explained to tyra and the panel why she wore them, that in indian and the states, lighter skin and lighter eyes are percieved as beautiful. she's right, i mean look around you and that's all you see on mags, t.v, everywhere. the lighter the better. but throughout antm, she photographed without them and her dark eyes were stunning, even tyra pointed them out and asked her what she thought of the pics now with her dark eyes.
there was another episode where tyra had the models do different model stereotypes and one black chick had to do "the black model who turns white". she wore blonde, blonde extensions, wore blue contacts and had on pink lipstick. tyra was commenting on how black girls come into the industry and just go "white." i say some...just some.
i think i only watch antm now just to see the black girls, just to see what....hope? maybe to see someone with something similar to me make it at least and to hear tyra's views and experience. also to see skinny, smaller chested girls make it. it gives me some hope sometimes. i just don't know. i had to let it out.
mm is too full of busty, bimbo looking women that people only go and seem to view or comment on just because they're naked. it's gross to me. you shouldn't have to look like the Maxim...no Playboy/Hustler covergirl in MM. jesus.
no more pics of me with blue/turquoise eyes. i'll wear them, but not for pictures.
i think i'm more inspired to do a shoot to show what's wrong with the industry from wearing one blue contact, to having my boobs bandaged, my nose bandaged, my waist cinched, to having half of my face done with light, non matching foundations to ridiculously long hair....basically stating that i better get cosmetic surgery done to fit in. change myself just to fit in and be aesthetically pleasing to everyone just to be "beautiful."
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