Happy New Year, love birds! 🐤🐦
How is your 2021 ended and how is your 2022 starting?
I've spent New Years Eve in quarantine with my dude as we've been both tested positive for Covid - how cool, uh? 😒
Since we're both fully vaxed, we're getting very light symptoms - like, I've just running nose and headache, while he's had fever for three days and now he's recovering.
I'm really sad 'cause we have had to give up our five days holiday on the Alps with friends, but we're gonna reschedule it as soon as we'll be free from our isolation.
I cannot exactly tell how we got it, but I admit we weren't particularly careful on Christmas weekend: we both had our last day of job on Dec 23rd and from that day all through the Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day, we visited a lot of friends, we saw our families, went to launches and dinners, happy hours, etc. We tried our best to keep masks on, but we all know how difficult it is to keep good safety habits when you finally end you working year, meet your friends without too many restrictions and drink a couple drinks 😜
This is me getting a do-it-yourself swab test before attending a dinner with friends on Dec 23rd. It's such an hilarious postcard from this year's Christmas time!
Good news is everyone I know with Covid is now experiencing very light symptoms like I am - this is a good thing and cast a light for the evolution of the situation.
How are things going in your Country?
On a different note, this is probably the first time in my life when I haven't made any balance of the past year, nor any resolution for the new one. Probably because I'm tired of seeing my plans messed up both by things I cannot control and by my self-sabotages too - believe me, it's a terrible mix!
Wait.
I was about to write that I don't think I've accomplished much in 2021... but honestly, thinking about it, I'm so wrong.
I've worked a lot and I ended up having basically two full salaries, which is great as I don't feel pressed anymore into making things work in my marketing specialist job: as I've told you in previous blog posts, I've been experiencing toxic dynamics in my working environment and even if I can obviously do something to get things a bit better, a large share of succeeding depends on how my manager will behave as - in the end - she's the one being in charge. I like my job in the advertising agency I'm working and I'm sure I could love it even more if they let me be more autonomous, but I don't need that job as I did in the past - this means I'm still gonna try to do my best to get things right, but I'm not willing to lose my mental health over it.
On the other hand, working two jobs has led me to be so very stressed. I think I peaked three weeks ago when after a week of 9-to-5 work, I've had a bondage video shooting on Saturday, had a pole-dance show in a club that night and then had another shooting on Sunday afternoon - just to be back at my desk on Monday morning! I ended up being covered in red spots all over my skin, which were - of course - due to stress!
Since working two jobs is not making me rich, I do need to learn to slow down and enjoy my time. Time is what matters most, nothing else can compare - this is not just a nice quote, it's something I must learn to live by.
This year I've been back on shape and on the pole after giving up pretty much any activity in 2020, due to lockdown, restrictions and general listlessness. It's hard but it's paying out. I've been back dancing in a kinky-friendly club once or twice a month, I'm enjoying this light version of this exotic dancing job - I love dancing and staying on stage, but I couldn't even think of dancing every damn weekend anymore.
Plus, this year I've started practicing climbing and I've got closer to mountains and nature, probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I always ask myself why I didn't followed my dad's and my brother's path earlier, but I understand this kind of questions isn't useful. It's just the way it is and I'm happy to have discovered climbing. I've met a lot of new people at the crags and in the gym: climbing is pretty fashionable nowadays so it brings closer people of all kinds, not just hippies living in vans or backpackers - by the way, I've noticed that the ones that I've bonded with and with whom I go climbing at the crags with are good souls, people that make me feel at ease.
This year I've made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that are children of old insecurities, old lies I've been told and I keep telling myself. Mistakes that have mined in the depths some very good things I was building since long ago. A lot of things has changed and I can't go back to what it used to be - I have to deal with it and keep the weight of all this in my heart.
As you can get from these lines, I'm not really that happy right now. But I'm ready to do whatever it takes in this 2022 to get back my inner peace, probably what I missed the most last year. I'll try my best ❤️
Oh... and if you've reached this point without closing this post's window, surviving to my stream of consciousness, I suggest you to keep an eye out for my next set, shot by my amazing friend @mel_z ! It's hitting member review in few hours and I'm soooo excited! I do hope you're gonna like it as much as I do!
xo
Lauretta
