In the spirit of the holiday season and all the christmas parties and other gatherings happening right now... I have decided to repost "Sardines" for your reading pleasure. I encourage you, for your own entertainment value, to read the poem and then give it a try. I promise it will be fun.
Sardines
Is there a better snack food out there? Does it really get any better than sardines? Yes, it certainly does. But, as far as a snack food being a conversation piece goes... I don't believe there is a more stimulating product. Try it out for yourself... go to the grocery store before your next party and pick up a small bag of pretzels and a can of sardines (It will set you back about $2.50 plus tax). Find a small, but visible area near the other snack foods and place the open can of sardines next to your small bag of pretzels. Now find a good seat in view of the snack food selection, sit back, and watch the bedlam break loose!! Some people will be horrified by the mere appearance of the tiny fish. Others, in the same boat, will be just as disgusted by the smell. You will hear devious whispers like, "look someone actually brought sardines here."
Or, "Did you see the sardines, how gross is that?"
Or even, "I can smell those sardines from all the way over here!"
Or how about, "Dude are those the sardines or did you ass yourself again?"
It is a GUARANTEE that everyone who sees them will talk about it! Eventually after many beers, someone will grab a pretzel, slap one of those babies on it and scarf it down. That person then becomes the center of attention and tries to get other people to eat the sardines. Its a never-ending saga until the party ends or someone throws them away. Just a side note, always keep a reserve can of sardines on you in case the latter happens. For the price and the entertainment value, you really should buy sardines for every gathering.
by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
Sardines
Is there a better snack food out there? Does it really get any better than sardines? Yes, it certainly does. But, as far as a snack food being a conversation piece goes... I don't believe there is a more stimulating product. Try it out for yourself... go to the grocery store before your next party and pick up a small bag of pretzels and a can of sardines (It will set you back about $2.50 plus tax). Find a small, but visible area near the other snack foods and place the open can of sardines next to your small bag of pretzels. Now find a good seat in view of the snack food selection, sit back, and watch the bedlam break loose!! Some people will be horrified by the mere appearance of the tiny fish. Others, in the same boat, will be just as disgusted by the smell. You will hear devious whispers like, "look someone actually brought sardines here."
Or, "Did you see the sardines, how gross is that?"
Or even, "I can smell those sardines from all the way over here!"
Or how about, "Dude are those the sardines or did you ass yourself again?"
It is a GUARANTEE that everyone who sees them will talk about it! Eventually after many beers, someone will grab a pretzel, slap one of those babies on it and scarf it down. That person then becomes the center of attention and tries to get other people to eat the sardines. Its a never-ending saga until the party ends or someone throws them away. Just a side note, always keep a reserve can of sardines on you in case the latter happens. For the price and the entertainment value, you really should buy sardines for every gathering.
by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
CRUNK
eh, just kidding.
do you write for a living or for fun?