OK two poems for everyone today: The first (I don't know if I posted this already?) still ode to my continuing heartburn and the second in response to the continuation of my rapidly depleting sock supply.
Casseroles
What the fuck is a casserole? They should rename it to a clusterfuck. I am going to look it up in a dictionary. I know what a casserole is, but I would love to see the technical definition of this word.
Casserole (N.)- (Cookery) A mold (in the shape of a hollow vessel or incasement) of boiled rice, mashed potato or paste, baked, and afterwards filled with vegetables or meat.
What the fuck was that!? Mashed potato or paste!? Vegetables OR Meat? Clusterfuck (I looked up clusterfuck, but it wasn't in the dictionary -See also Jimmy Tango's definition in The Royal Family) could mean the exact same thing! Have you ever had a good casserole? Have you ever eaten one and said, "Wow, that is some great casserole, can I have the recipe?" If I ever serve a casserole, I am going to tell everyone that is a vegetable and/or meat clusterfuck.
"Would anyone like seconds of my clusterfuck?"
All the shit really is, is a bunch of leftover crap in the refrigerator and freezer. If you ever come across a good casserole recipe, please let me know.
by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
Socks
There is nothing in this great, mysterious world that confuses me and pisses me off more than disappearing socks! Brown, black, white, gray, plaid... It doesn't matter. At least one of the pair almost always, eventually ends up missing. Where do they go? I do not know for sure, but I do have a couple of theories concerning our "missing" socks. My first theory is called "The Sock Monster Theory." I believe there is an unidentified creature of some type (perhaps similar to the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot in how it avoids being seen or caught by humans, but much smaller in size) that lives in the washing machine, the dryer, and the sock drawer. Thus living in such prime locations, it simply feeds (and thrives) on our socks. My other theory is that aliens are stealing them and using them to fuel their UFO's. If you sit back and think about it, as long as there have been socks, there have been sitings of UFO's. Either way, I want this sock stealing fiasco to stop right now.
by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
Casseroles
What the fuck is a casserole? They should rename it to a clusterfuck. I am going to look it up in a dictionary. I know what a casserole is, but I would love to see the technical definition of this word.
Casserole (N.)- (Cookery) A mold (in the shape of a hollow vessel or incasement) of boiled rice, mashed potato or paste, baked, and afterwards filled with vegetables or meat.
What the fuck was that!? Mashed potato or paste!? Vegetables OR Meat? Clusterfuck (I looked up clusterfuck, but it wasn't in the dictionary -See also Jimmy Tango's definition in The Royal Family) could mean the exact same thing! Have you ever had a good casserole? Have you ever eaten one and said, "Wow, that is some great casserole, can I have the recipe?" If I ever serve a casserole, I am going to tell everyone that is a vegetable and/or meat clusterfuck.
"Would anyone like seconds of my clusterfuck?"
All the shit really is, is a bunch of leftover crap in the refrigerator and freezer. If you ever come across a good casserole recipe, please let me know.
by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
Socks
There is nothing in this great, mysterious world that confuses me and pisses me off more than disappearing socks! Brown, black, white, gray, plaid... It doesn't matter. At least one of the pair almost always, eventually ends up missing. Where do they go? I do not know for sure, but I do have a couple of theories concerning our "missing" socks. My first theory is called "The Sock Monster Theory." I believe there is an unidentified creature of some type (perhaps similar to the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot in how it avoids being seen or caught by humans, but much smaller in size) that lives in the washing machine, the dryer, and the sock drawer. Thus living in such prime locations, it simply feeds (and thrives) on our socks. My other theory is that aliens are stealing them and using them to fuel their UFO's. If you sit back and think about it, as long as there have been socks, there have been sitings of UFO's. Either way, I want this sock stealing fiasco to stop right now.
by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
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