lastmancandid

I wonder, if you were that one person for somebody, the one that made it all worth it, would it be enough for you also? Even if the feeling was not mutual? Could they become the only one that mattered? I see it in people's eyes, that look. The one that puts you on your ass, but it doesn't change anything. The 'I'll-sing-to-you-when-you-are-bleeding-on-the-floor-Sade' look. I like that. It's strange, I notice it everyday and most of the time the people are too oblivious to even notice that it's directed toward them. We should all be so goddamn lucky.

I just don't understand why it always has to happen this way. The feeling is never enough. When did being realistic have anything to do with reckless, perfect, skin under the fingernails, mascara on the cheek, my lips on your neck, smile in the rain love? I guess it has forever been this way and the times it has not been are publicized until we believe it can really happen. Sounds like the American Dream to me. A caste system with class movers as heroes. I may be bitter, but I always wanted to be that kind of hero.

The question becomes: how can I expect someone else to take me seriously when I have trouble doing it myself? That is just like the rest of my bullshit rhetorical questions, answerable.
I don't pretend this is going somewhere, but it makes me feel better. I think the hope of feeling better might be the only reason people like me survive. The romantic cynic strikes again, leaving everyone more ignorant for partaking, but made him feel real for a few lingering moments, enough time to close my eyes without regret.