She said it and I believed it. She flaunted that she was in the running for forever and I'm not sure if I laughed at the sass factor or the hideous truth in it. Damn how they can hook me so quickly, just eyes that meet the stare and a neck to sink my teeth into. I wanted to dephile her and I grinned because...
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I know that you are out there, that flickering fable waiting to shine brightly. I see you in the faces of those I despise, there must be a balance, an antithesis to their apathy.
Perhaps I have only convinced myself that you exist, a false hope for a ficticious character. A memento to give me purpose, forsaking the first step to savor another.
The air...
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Perhaps I have only convinced myself that you exist, a false hope for a ficticious character. A memento to give me purpose, forsaking the first step to savor another.
The air...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
ilovemikehunt:
if only you understood the madness that lays behind my eyelids...
talula10:
is it so wrong to want to be settled and happy and cared for?
by someone that doesn't have to care about me.
yes, i have a nitche.
yes, im self-reliant.
but what use is it, if all these people keep telling you how attractive you are, and at the end of the day, it amounts to nothing but lonliness.
yes, ultimately, we are all alone. the extent to which we recognize this, i find, is directly proportional to our ego.
the more you love yourself, the more you think others love you as well.
its all a farse.
i recognize that baring things like this makes me look highly unstable and co-dependent.
id like to think that im not co-dependent.
its just that everytime i get used to something
it goes away.
its just that everytime i start liking things
it becomes useless.
i want to yell at everything and make it stop being fake.
i bet we can all see through the veneer that is set up by others.
why the want you.
why they talk to you.
why the so desperately want to be your friend.
nobody would want yo u
for no reason
not pertaining gain for themselves.
this act is entertained by varying degrees by all.
some manipulate the extent of their honesty
to make it seem as though they are pure.
the greatest depravity of all, id imagine.
and this is the evil that eats at us.
nothing is wholesome.
not me
not you.
the origin of things always predetermines the eventual fate.
and thus far
i have been very very unlucky.
[Edited on May 10, 2004 1:49AM]
by someone that doesn't have to care about me.
yes, i have a nitche.
yes, im self-reliant.
but what use is it, if all these people keep telling you how attractive you are, and at the end of the day, it amounts to nothing but lonliness.
yes, ultimately, we are all alone. the extent to which we recognize this, i find, is directly proportional to our ego.
the more you love yourself, the more you think others love you as well.
its all a farse.
i recognize that baring things like this makes me look highly unstable and co-dependent.
id like to think that im not co-dependent.
its just that everytime i get used to something
it goes away.
its just that everytime i start liking things
it becomes useless.
i want to yell at everything and make it stop being fake.
i bet we can all see through the veneer that is set up by others.
why the want you.
why they talk to you.
why the so desperately want to be your friend.
nobody would want yo u
for no reason
not pertaining gain for themselves.
this act is entertained by varying degrees by all.
some manipulate the extent of their honesty
to make it seem as though they are pure.
the greatest depravity of all, id imagine.
and this is the evil that eats at us.
nothing is wholesome.
not me
not you.
the origin of things always predetermines the eventual fate.
and thus far
i have been very very unlucky.
[Edited on May 10, 2004 1:49AM]
Maybe I envy the subtle persuasion because I lack that delicacy of workmanship. The blunt subtitles flowing from the forgotten features. The volume just a bit ridiculous, a caricature of claymores. Perhaps only a loudmouth, a soapbox for Hope. Sorry for the figments, the pieces that formed forever. The red in the glass never quite lived up to it's own persona, but I still pour...
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talula10:
these are guilty guilty things you speak of.
i always feel guilty when i love someone.
i always feel guilty when i love someone.
I like to know that you are out there, living these dreams vicariously. As much as I attempt to convince myself that I want your life, I could never keep up. I can't help it, the words won't come when I want them to. Instead, they linger and fester in my head until I ruin another friendship before it begins. So this is my new...
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trixie:
you amaze me.
Ever so swiftly she loves when she slights me. If this city was built on rock and roll it must have used Starship as their example. Yet, I still pump my fist like it has meaning. I smile when no one is watching. It's like going to the movies by yourself, cripples the continuity, but you don't have to answer to anyone. That's why I...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
talula10:
im guessing you haven't met my old friend,
J. Alfred Prufrock.
and what if they were to say...
that is not it, that is not it at all.
i should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttering across the floors of silent seas.
but thanks, that's really practical, and im way too not practical most of the time. and thanks for caring
[Edited on Apr 26, 2004 12:56AM]
J. Alfred Prufrock.
and what if they were to say...
that is not it, that is not it at all.
i should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttering across the floors of silent seas.
but thanks, that's really practical, and im way too not practical most of the time. and thanks for caring
[Edited on Apr 26, 2004 12:56AM]
talula10:
pffffft. 
So I write to you fucks, who I'm naturally not cool enough to talk to, in this anonymous bullshit internet medium. Which again reaffirms the fact that I am a tool. Maybe I just find it real hard to decipher what I should care about. I know what matters to me and these things have little to zero value to the outside world. Or it...
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mistermocha:
Allright! Finally someone who cuts through the bullshit and gets to the point! You're just enough of an honest asshole for me to *bleah* friend you.
Dig it!
Dig it!
shazzy:
there's nothing sweeter than elizabeth shue circa 1987.
I wonder, if you were that one person for somebody, the one that made it all worth it, would it be enough for you also? Even if the feeling was not mutual? Could they become the only one that mattered? I see it in people's eyes, that look. The one that puts you on your ass, but it doesn't change anything. The 'I'll-sing-to-you-when-you-are-bleeding-on-the-floor-Sade' look. I...
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