Family, What the fuck? Seriously family is a damn mess.
Still waiting to find out if my dad is my dad. Stepfather still in the hospital but looks like he's gonna live. One brother skips school and makes fun our mom for her disability, and the other gets beat on at school for saying that he is a girl. My brothers and I can't be in the same area as our mother for more than 5 minutes without us all yelling. My mom has been using me to run her errands for the past 10 days since my stepdads been in the hospital. And despite the fact that she's had a heart attack and a stroke, and is diabetic she still buys tons of cookies and chips, and other sweet fattening things whenever she goes shopping.
I really just want to say to hell with it all and move to another state or country. That way they can't call me up every day to come over and take care of whatever drama is going on. At the same time though I feel a sense of obligation to be there and do what I can, which really isn't a whole lot.
Part of it I'm sure is my cultural heritage, and part of it is most likely my own insecurity. A need to be needed. I'm just afraid that if I leave that there'll be remorse when my mother does die.
I also have to deal with the fact that if she and my stepfather go I will have to raise my younger brother. He's 13 now so it would only be for 5 or so years. Still though I'm in no shape to take responsability for him. My finances suck, and I have no sense of self control. Shit I already spent most of my preteen years raising my other brother. I know it's just bitching, but when the fuck do I get to live MY life. I have dreams and it's gonna suck starting on them in my 30's.
I thought family was supposed to be ine of those good things. Something that got you through in the hard times. People you laughed, and cried with. No laughing together, and when we cry it's most definitely apart. The only thing we do when together is yell.
FUCK I need some good ol' Glam Rock ballads here!
Payday tommorrow maybe things'll look better then.
* sings Skid Rows "I remember you" acapella style*
Still waiting to find out if my dad is my dad. Stepfather still in the hospital but looks like he's gonna live. One brother skips school and makes fun our mom for her disability, and the other gets beat on at school for saying that he is a girl. My brothers and I can't be in the same area as our mother for more than 5 minutes without us all yelling. My mom has been using me to run her errands for the past 10 days since my stepdads been in the hospital. And despite the fact that she's had a heart attack and a stroke, and is diabetic she still buys tons of cookies and chips, and other sweet fattening things whenever she goes shopping.
I really just want to say to hell with it all and move to another state or country. That way they can't call me up every day to come over and take care of whatever drama is going on. At the same time though I feel a sense of obligation to be there and do what I can, which really isn't a whole lot.
Part of it I'm sure is my cultural heritage, and part of it is most likely my own insecurity. A need to be needed. I'm just afraid that if I leave that there'll be remorse when my mother does die.
I also have to deal with the fact that if she and my stepfather go I will have to raise my younger brother. He's 13 now so it would only be for 5 or so years. Still though I'm in no shape to take responsability for him. My finances suck, and I have no sense of self control. Shit I already spent most of my preteen years raising my other brother. I know it's just bitching, but when the fuck do I get to live MY life. I have dreams and it's gonna suck starting on them in my 30's.
I thought family was supposed to be ine of those good things. Something that got you through in the hard times. People you laughed, and cried with. No laughing together, and when we cry it's most definitely apart. The only thing we do when together is yell.
FUCK I need some good ol' Glam Rock ballads here!
Payday tommorrow maybe things'll look better then.
* sings Skid Rows "I remember you" acapella style*
I can't believe you have a photo set from the machine at Pete's.
* sings "Your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock and roll..."