Dear Bloggers,
We are here watching the two most annoying people on the planet, bar U2 and J-Lo.. Oprah and Tom (Im clearly gay) Cruise. This is not a feast for our eyes.
Let's all go to a happy place and remember how we managed to pick up some fake little shicken and pea chips on Tuesday and had lunch with the Merchandiser. One of us has decided that we absolutely fuckin hate inner city driving.. especially West End driving. That half of us got stressed and nearly cried and Merc, being the gentle young foal that he is parked our car for us. Thank fuck. We werent too keen on the healthy grub but fuck us, the cheesecake was opposite of lame, Fanfuckintastic infact! Put it in our mouths now. Peoples of Brizboring of the vegan persuasion go to the forest in West End and go hard.
Tom (Im fragile and wrong) Cruise keeps laughing and we just want Oprah to put his head between her bum cheeks and crack him like a walnut.
Back to how Merc was being cute... We give him 2O thumbs up cos hes not only cute and hot but that bitch fuckin inhales his food and anyone that can keep up with our chubby selves is fuckin A in our books. And Ps Merc, Nobody thinks you're cute or hot, so stop being so cocky. How did those Taco's and Coronas go down? We bet they didnt taste so good without us there to look at. Eating taco's whilst watching hot girls inhale shit with no pants on is the bomb, no?
Something we forgot to talk about was an incident on Saturday night that also made us chortle. Now, we are both pretty down with toxic shock syndrome, this is something we practice for on a regular basis. After drinking Saturday night one of us went home, went to the toilet, took out the tampon and left it sitting on the toilet floor. We then trodded off to bed with not one bit of sanitory protection. Way to wake up in a pool of blood!
Ya'll wanted to know that, we know you did. This is why we tell you our tales. We picked up the new white stripes album yesterday. It does shit. Some shit is good, some shit is shit. All we know is that Meg is a fox. Get in our pants.
Another issue we'd like to bring up.. Merc, wheres our fuckin cheesecake at? When can we have a cook off? We'll make the Lasonja, you make the cheesecake. We eat, we drool, we get drunk and horny and watch porn. It on? (please, no more requests to come to this hook-up, all the positions are full)
All our lovin and stinky beer breath.
US (BACON)
We are here watching the two most annoying people on the planet, bar U2 and J-Lo.. Oprah and Tom (Im clearly gay) Cruise. This is not a feast for our eyes.
Let's all go to a happy place and remember how we managed to pick up some fake little shicken and pea chips on Tuesday and had lunch with the Merchandiser. One of us has decided that we absolutely fuckin hate inner city driving.. especially West End driving. That half of us got stressed and nearly cried and Merc, being the gentle young foal that he is parked our car for us. Thank fuck. We werent too keen on the healthy grub but fuck us, the cheesecake was opposite of lame, Fanfuckintastic infact! Put it in our mouths now. Peoples of Brizboring of the vegan persuasion go to the forest in West End and go hard.
Tom (Im fragile and wrong) Cruise keeps laughing and we just want Oprah to put his head between her bum cheeks and crack him like a walnut.
Back to how Merc was being cute... We give him 2O thumbs up cos hes not only cute and hot but that bitch fuckin inhales his food and anyone that can keep up with our chubby selves is fuckin A in our books. And Ps Merc, Nobody thinks you're cute or hot, so stop being so cocky. How did those Taco's and Coronas go down? We bet they didnt taste so good without us there to look at. Eating taco's whilst watching hot girls inhale shit with no pants on is the bomb, no?
Something we forgot to talk about was an incident on Saturday night that also made us chortle. Now, we are both pretty down with toxic shock syndrome, this is something we practice for on a regular basis. After drinking Saturday night one of us went home, went to the toilet, took out the tampon and left it sitting on the toilet floor. We then trodded off to bed with not one bit of sanitory protection. Way to wake up in a pool of blood!
Ya'll wanted to know that, we know you did. This is why we tell you our tales. We picked up the new white stripes album yesterday. It does shit. Some shit is good, some shit is shit. All we know is that Meg is a fox. Get in our pants.
Another issue we'd like to bring up.. Merc, wheres our fuckin cheesecake at? When can we have a cook off? We'll make the Lasonja, you make the cheesecake. We eat, we drool, we get drunk and horny and watch porn. It on? (please, no more requests to come to this hook-up, all the positions are full)
All our lovin and stinky beer breath.
US (BACON)
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
my random comment in reply
on the food scale, (prepare for i AM a meat eater) i get through a kilo of red meat in one sitting on a fairly regular basis. i renamed the local pizza shops "family" pizza, "the chris special" and vince(owner) agrees and shakes his head and keeps charging me for a medium(pizza hut size) cause he thinks it's good fun or something *shrugs*
tom cruise sucks balls. ask oprah - he sucked hers.
fuckin' hey, man....
got the internet thang goin' on at the new pad, without the phone turned on.
how scammy is that shit, eh?
yeah, it is.