languid

"son, it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done...."



friday afternoon...
i go to chinatown to pay off pg&e & sbc in this cool little shop selling funky stamps, beer posters and postcards mailed from china. they have various other trinkets and dusty, musty things. today the lady smiles and is very sweet. sometimes she and her male partner are quite jovial othertimes they have storms in the eyes and werds. they always have a mason jar of green? tea at their elbow tho...

what t'do? northbeach next stop... molinari's. comfort food to start my weekend. hmmm.... wine? a '95 dry red? m'k & the standard aquisition of sangiovesse @ $5.95. oooohhh... hot chicken cutlets, mini capresse and a cold pesto pasta. hmmm... mehbe a samich too? dutch crunch bread, olive oil, buffalo mozzarella(oh so savory and full figured....) and imported di parma prosciutto. jeez... half a huny? m'k whatever.

quite a load now... how to go, i have my longboard, my over size messenger bag and gentle travel requirements so as not to upset certin packages prone to leaking? bills paid, grub made and so i am off to downtown to check my mail for the just in case before the weekend. so... i wait for the fifteen, m'k i see 30 after 30 after 45 making the turn down stockton. i consider if i should change my map and just go straight home. nah, what the hell i'll wait i ahve been rushing and going somewhere as fast as i can all week. i'll wait... people watch.

i have a feeling that the squeeky, raspy, groweley jersey voice some girls get is straight from the old country. the waitresss was in full display of said vocal tones but a straight italia senora. i have heard it before but i never had the time to just listen and make the simple conclusion. i guess that is why i don't mind standing around waiting because sometimes the simple reveals itself with all that time to ponder.

so i get on the bus and the full figured sister, driving, smiles at me and says, "my that's a big one..." i smile back and grin saying that, "this is my impala..." i got another grin back for that one. my longboard is always illicitng such comments. i love it. i mosey down the aisle and find a perch for me, my board and my pantry. not too far just before the first double door exit. ooohhh the day is ebbing late and the bus begins to fill like it can on a friday afternoon. it was mehbe just 330? so as always the cluster right at the front opening, by the driver, becomes apparent. it always happens and if you have any muni experience in the city you know you just have to get it together and navigate the madness. we all get pissed off a little but there it is and it is what it is. many times in this part of town it is older, non english speaking chinese who all want to be in the senior zone. so then this is where things get a little exciting. this is where i become a little red eyed. so dude, 'bout 45-55, is pinned behind an 85? year old man, with a big mole, big grin and not a clue as to what anybody is saying in english. just kinda tottering along. the driver is getting irked by the cluster and starts hollering that people need to move to the back. they always holler, ""move to the back!" when it gets crowded. i just snuggle my pack wagon closer to the single seat next to me and work my litheness, hopefully. so white dude starts hollering at the old man. i look over and check it out. keeps holllering and starts getting a little beligerent. i start taking offense to his attitude. there are small children, old people, tourists and me. basically i just didn't like how he was going on at the old man and wasn't into his monologue. he kinda gave off that prejudicial, straight out of buffalo, white ghetto, new yawk nonesense. i love my new yawk friends but they got my back on this how lame fuck-ups like this are. starts going on how he was going to kick the old man's ass. how he was lucky that the man was older than him or he'd beat his ass right there. starts screaming this bullshit at this man two inches from his ear. eventually the man gets it and decides to navigate his way away from the lunatic. but the guy keeps grousing... the old guy has now moved beyond me with the white dude on the otherside of me. so... the guy keeps grousing, hollering how he would kick the old man's ass and if this was in new yawk so would everybody else. now dude is about a foot away from my shoulder, maybe five, nine, a buck forty five or less, blond and balding. finally i start to get annoyed....

so, i turn and look at him and say quietly, "tuff talk man." ohhh boy. sometimes i just gotta say something, don't matter what the fuck but the attitude turns on and the werds come out. oh shit here we go. dude has a new person to start hollering and threatening at, me. good.

dude says, "what the fuck want me to kick your ass too?"

i laugh, look him up and down, and say quietly, "you can try..."

now he's worked up. i smirk back at him. now bear in mind i haven't moved an inch the whole time the shit has just been flowing around me and my pack train.

dude starts hollering, "if i was in charge and had anything to do with it we'd draft fucks like you!"

i just smile back, "so who did you serve with?"

no answer...

"come on," i say, "it's easy, all you have to do is pick one, army, navy airforce, marines... come on, you can tell me who did you serve with."

he screams, "i'm gonna fuck you up, just let me know where, just folllow me off the bus you fuck, i'm gonna show you something..."

"oh yeah?" i say. "who the fuck are you bernard goetz?"

for those who don't remember goetz was the guy in the eighties who shot the kids in the subway that were messing with him.

"you got a piece you wanna pull on me?" i serve him back.

"come on," i say, "" where did you serve." i'm kinda getting hot by this point because that is usually what happens when people yell at me. i look over at the old amn and smile, he smiles back at me. looks like i have an audience now. the tourists starts tittering and give me a glance where i just return it with a smile. but... when my temper starts up in a moment like this it gets hard for me to see straight...

dude goes on, ""come just get off the bus, you let me know, i'll fuck you up..."

he says, "i'll take you somehwere you will regret...."

i just smile and laugh.

"go fuck yourself!" he says.

"i just did," I say, "it was nice."

he squeeks, "fucking homosexual, get away from me you fucking faggot! i'd have you drafted so you can learn how to be a real man. you'd be shitting your pants all over the battlefield!"

"so where did you serve?" i ask.

"get away from me, you homosexual! don't talk to me!" he backs away. meanwhile i haven't budged anyway at all and he has been doing all the back and forth.

so my back has been mostly to him this whole time. over the next couple stops i look over my shoulder at him to keep an eye on his place.

right before my stop i ask, "so you gonna kick my ass?"

"hey fuck you faggot! you just follow me and i've got something to show you! fucking homosexual!" he yells.

we pull into my stop and he edges away from me going out the front door and me, i go for the door right where i had been standing the whole time.

singosnging, i say, "hey puppy, i'm getting off the bus....." musical notes float above my head like a comic book. "you got something you wanna show me?" i ask.

"fuck you faggot! i'm gonna kick your ass!" he yells.

i hear an, "uh, oh..." from the tourists. i get off and move me and my load to the front of the bus. i say, "where are you going?" because he was half way across sutter by this point crossing against traffic.

he starts screaming at me so hard, he starts bending over, "fuck you homosexual! just follow me and i will kick your ass! i got something to show you!"

i'm all, "yeah but you're walking away! what, you gotta get far enough away from me so you can aim your gun? what the fuck you got something to prove so come on back and stop running away. here i am."

so this is where i notice the dude is hobbling, he has got a cane, a limp and one bitter life.

i just turn away. onto my skate and off to check my mail.... in the opposite direction.

i had no mail but some macy's ad. the food was good. the wine was hella sour and good. the color was solid dark red, not the ruby red more the murkey blood red. good for food but way hard on its own. i showered and went to bed early. somebody said this was the thirteenth week of the year. i'm not gonna count.

some people say i have an attitude problem and some people say that people just have a problem with my attitude...



aloha,
j