languid

some days even tho you push it is still not fast enough. thatz all right tho. fuck it. got it done anyways and it looks clean. so there.

this week is turning into something quite interesting. i heard from my first crush in the city back when i was twenty one and frsh to the grime and shady ways of the mission. the only problem was that she lived with her boyfriend so it was a little incnnvenient at times. there was one night we went to go see ciop shoot cop and ran into him in the pit. that was the one and only time we met.

there was one night we were drinking manhattans, they were on sale, later she in my lap. then we made out. so she is married now and i am friends with her and her husband. we talk every now and then. we caught up and then she told me how she and another old friend of mine were at HOF. she'd so indie and yet at a metal show.

so.. on tuesday, i worked at cpmc, calpac hospital. i had my first job there, my first one in the city that is. up on clay and webster. back then i worked twenty hours a week and paid two twenty a month for my rent in a flat in pac heights which for the whole fucking thing was eight fifty a month. fucking a. the rent on my studio is nine oh seven twenty.

so i'm ther e and on my way out i'm fuck i should go and see if max was still working there. yeah he worked there ten years ago and he hadn't been working there for nine of those years but he was back for his last month in town. what the fuck? i didn't even know of the internet back then and he sure as hell didn't have a web site. so anyways we used to drink a hell of a lot together back in ninety three. he plays piano like nobody's business and is a hell of a good time. a fucking gentleman is there ever was one. we didn't have a lot of time on tuesday but he is moving so after all my nonsense yesterday i looked him up, again, and caught him on the way off the job and we had dinner with ten years of catching up to do. fucking a... what a lad. a fucking beautiful spirit and now i have a standing invitation to nashville where is finally going to pursue a little more of his music career that he has dogged for however long that is. max is one of those special people that make an impression on your life just by sheer presence of being. more class in his blink than most people achieve in their entire life. a great drinking buddy. still likes them martinis. now i have a new bar that serves beautiful thai food. too bad it is in pac heights.

there were parties where the cops were called many times at his apt back ten. he'd be playing his baby grand all night surrounded by friends, living in song and music. good fucking times.

there was one night i invited him over to hang out while i made red sauce from scratch. as an aside that sauce has changed much from those days ten years ago and i still throw it down. back then i filled it with cayenne pepper in a kind of arrabiatta flavor. i rubbed my nose without thinking, which in turn spread to my eye, then it jumped to my other eye and i was fucked. my roommate, who was a scandal in her own right sopped my face with water and cloth, ran water from the sink over my face in the sink. she massaged my head and handed me beer after beer as i slammed them one by one to kill the fire. eventually the pain was gone and i was no longer doomed. all thru the fire max was there keeping a running dialogue with me while we laughed at how totally fucked i was at the moment.

i'll have to tell you the story of kim the roommate on austin alley one day when i dredge the shit up for the laundry to air.

so we laughed last night. caught up and then it was late. three hours was a blink. we will have to drink again before he goes. good fucking people. what a week with the past. made all the shit seem easier. except the sweat, the headache and the not thinking clearly today. just a tad hung over cutting steell and aluminum. loud fucking shit at six am i tell you what. fucking harsh it is a good thing i didn't have to use my shotgun today. then i would have done everything loud i can feeling like shit first thing. i hustled tho made it happen and ran.

so i parked the truck and rocked out on my longboard into market street to roll around and catch fresh air. then the music store called and when i got it is raining again. tomorrow will be puddles.

so at the store i was all

mastadon: leviathan
dead meadow: feathers
slayer: south of heaven
tool: undertow again the old one was fucked
stones: beggars, i have bought this in tape a couple times and cd a couple times. must be the sympathy that runs away...
stones: let it bleed
dillinger escape plan: calculating infinity

broke down a bit. so to compensate i went to kaplans and bought some waterproof boots because tomorrow would suck with the fucked boots i have now. puddles baby, puddles. the last time there i was a squish beast from thegate and that was not a pleasant 8 hours.

not even over yet tho. work saturday they say. feels good tho to have the past still around. so much of my past has been severed and amputated due to the old ways of shade. i'm glad some of us made it to still get together once and a while even if it is ten years later.



aloha,
j

that was along winded one eh?